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Living relations and / or
Contract marriage system
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????
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Dr Ashutosh - do you mean "Live In" relations ?? :o))
Jaraa jadach vishay nivadlaa aahe HG var discuss karaaylaa...
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Doctor saheb: Vishayaacha khulasaa karava hi vinanti...:o)
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Yogi, I think what Doctorsaheb wants to discuss is the boyfriend-girlfriend living together before marriage fundaa...mhanun mhatale topic jaraa heavych nivadlaa aahe HG saathi :o))
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Ashutosh, a little mistake.. its live in. anyways!! its a good topic. pan sambhalun ithe aaple sanskruti sanrakshak lok yeun talavar baji suru karatil ha!
jojo, its not something that happens before marriage only. i mean live in does not necessarily end up into either marriage or breakup. It just can stay as it is for longer time almost like happy marriages. I know somebody in NYC living together for more than 12 yrs. marriage is not on their agenda at all and they were just happy and totally in love.
I dont find anything wrong in this concept. I could not take that step for some personal reasons but me and my fiance are totally in agreement with this concept.
I think lagnanantar aapan aaplay spouse la khupach gruhit dharu lagato. bayako mhanun ani navara mhanun anek avastav apeksha yet rahatat. tasech family etc pressures ne baryachada tumachya vyaktimatvavar bandhanehi yetat agdi jeev gudamarel itaki. pan Live in relationship cha tasa families shi kahi sambandh nasato tyamule donhi vyakti hyanna nirnayamadhe obedience etc goshtinche aathale yet nahit. ani tyahipeksha relation he kayadyane bandhalele naslyane tyachi japanuk jasti changlya prakare hot asavi.
kharetar kayadyane bandhle jane evadha ek mudda sodala tar live in ani marriage madhe tasa farasa farak nahiye. eka vyaktishi tumhi ayushyabhar bandhun gheta mag tyaamadhe problems nirman zale tar te relation todata kayadyane kinwa asech.. vedana, tras tevadhach ani relation madhe milanara anand hi tevdhach, tar mag kay farak aahe.
well I am for it.. pan tyahipeksha mulat ha ek atyatn persoanl mudda aahe tevha samjat he ghadave kinwa ghadu naye ase mhananyacha aplyala kahich adhikar nahi.
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Ajjau@kaÊ BaartIya lagnaat AaiNa lagnaanaMtr dÜGaaMcyaahI naatovaakMcao baroca pressure yaoto ha tuJaa mau_a mah%vaacaa Aaho. ha p`kar BaartIyaaMt jara jaastca AsatÜÊ pNa [traMcyaat ih tÜ AsatÜca. %yaaMnaa ekdma tÜDUna Takayacao kI iktpt javaL yao} VayacaoÊ AaiNa ksaoÆ navara baayakÜ ikMvaa nar maadI yaaMnaI ho pressure ksao handle kravao ho kLNao va AacarNaat AaNaNao hI far kzINa gaÜYT Aaho. ek quotation AahoÁ nobody can take advantage of you unless you let them' .
XaovaTI mana laÜKMDacyaa KaMbaasaarKo Ba@kma Asalao mhNajao [tr laÜk javaL yaotIlaÊ ToktIlaÊ pNa KaMbaalaa %yaacaa ~asa hÜNaar naahI.
Aajakala Anaok izkaiNa kovaL BaaDo vaaTUna GaoNyaasaazI maulagaa ina maulagaI ekaca Garat rhatatÊ %yaaMcao AapAapsaat kahIih saMbaMQa nasatatÊ AsaohI paihlao Aaho.
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zakki,
ithe konalach todayachi ichha nahiye ho. pan jevha mulagi sun mhanun lagna karun gharat yete tevha avastav apeksha vadhatatach na ani mag tya purya nahi zalya mane dukhavane mag tyatun navaryane gairsamaj karun ghene ani tyatun doghanchyat vitushta yene he houch shakate ki. I mean hotech ase nahi pan shakyata tar asatech. agadi tutanyaitke vitushta nahi aale tari kuthetari tedh hi rahatech na. family la todun takun kahich karayache nahiye pan live in relation ship mule basically tyanna janeev karun dili jate ki hi vatel tase vagavayala sun nahi, ani ya doghanche je kahi ayushyabaddalache nirnay asatil tyat aapla dominance asu shakat nahi. ya basic goshti swwkaralay gelya ki mag mulachya ayushyat nako itaki dakhal dili jat nahich na.. yala todane nahi mhanat.
Live in relation he fakta nar madi relation nahi agadi mulich nahi. kadhi kadhi navara bayako madhale communication samplyamule, nirman na zalyamule te nate tevdhyach patalivar yeu shakate pan live in relation madhe basically manus avadun mag he ekatra rahane asate ani natyache kayadesheer lable naslyamule ulat nate nurture karane, tikavane, ekmekanhci mane sambahalane he jasti asoshine hot rahat asave kadachit. ya natyala fakta nar maadi level var mi tari ananar nahi.
bhade vatun ghenyasathi mhanun co-ed roommates asane ha muddach ithe hou shakat nahi karan apan ithe ek commited relationship cha vicahr karatoy. rent ani utility share karanarya, ani ekatra rahylyamule thodifar maitri zalelya natyacha nakkich nahi. ha ata bharatat ajunahi ashya goshti lokanchya dolyavar yetat.. ani nahi suddha..
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Live In ih saMklpnaaca malaa pTt naahI.
lagna ih ek piva~ gaÜYT maI maanatÜ jyaat Ô> dÜna dohca naahI trÊ dÜna manaoÊ AaiNa dÜna GarNyaaMcao saMbaQa jauLtat. Aqaa-t jyaanaa lagna mhNajao s~I puÉYaaMnaa Aaplyaa Xaarirk AaiNa maanaisak garjaa BaagavaNyaasaazI sausaMsÌt samaajaanao AaKuna idlaolaa pyaa-ya Aaho Asa vaaTto %yaanaa lagnaabarÜbar yaoNaaáyaa gaÜiYT ( saasausaasaro . ) ho nakÜXaI AsaNaarI baMQanaoca vaaTtIla. AaiNa maga Live In relation saarKo pyaa-ya Agaidca AakYa-k vaaTitla.
dÜna AnaÜLKI s~IpuÉYa ikMvaa ima~ maOi~Na kaLaica garjaÊ ikMvaa vaastuisqatI tXaI AsalyaamauLo ek~ raht Asaitla tr %yaalaa maaJaa Aaxaop naahI ..( maI svatÁ maaJyaa maOi~NaIMbarÜbar kahI idvasaaMsaazI rahIlaÜ Aaho ).. pNa %yaat eka inavvaL maOi~caI baMQanao saMBaaLta AalaI pihjaot.
pNa jar AayauYya ek~ kaZayaca Asaola tr Live In... ha lagnaalaa pyaa-ya Asavaa ho malaa pTt naahI.
naatI hivat pNa jabaabadaáyaaÊ baMQana nakÜt ho maaJyaa saMsÌitt basat naahI.
malaa jaI AaplaI Baaritya saMsÌit samajalaIÊ %yaatuna maI trI ho iXaklaÜ kIÊ svatÁcaa vaOyai>k ivacaar kÉna jagaatlao [tr p`aNaIhI ijavana jagatatÊ pNa kiQatrI svatÁ poxaa jyaanaa AapNa Aaplao maanatÜ ( Aa vaiDla navaraÊ baayakÜ . . ) %yaaMcaa ivacaar kÉna qaÜiDXaI tDjaÜD krNaoÊ vaoL\p`saMgaI %yaagaacaI tyaarI daKvaNao ho Ô> maaNausaca kÉ XaktÜ.
Live In .. ha Aa%makoMid`t AaiNa svaOracaarI ijavana jaagaNaaáyaaMcaa maaga- Aaho AXaI GaNaaGaait iTka malaa krayaica naahIyao pNa (a pawtIcaa ekuNa rÜK malaa tsaaca vaaTtÜ.
(a p`karamauLo AaplaI AadXa- maanalaI jaaNaarI kuTuMba p`qaa ( ek~ kuTuMba ho tr kalaapr%vao saMpuYTatca Aalao Aaho ) ih naYT hÜla.
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Maybe I am too old for this, or maybe I have been out of India for a long time.... puN India madhe 'live-in' relationships ha concept ahe? At least among maharashtrians? I can see from the profile that Dr Ashutosh is from Pune.
Call my questions baavLatpaNa , puN tithe contract marriage prakar ahe?
Or does dr Ashutosh want to do some samajik kranti?
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you have been away from India too long swati. Well the first Live in example i Knew happened in my parents generation and that was in Pune and they both were maharashtrians. so I think the stereotype prejudice you have has practically no base. It is becoming more and more common in mumbai as well. I know some names but definitely I dont want to disclose these identities. hope you understand.
well, manya varshanuvarshe chalat aaleli mhanun ekatra kutumb paddhati changli he kahi mala patat nahi ani anekada ekatra kutumbamadhe vyaktichya manacha vichar faar kami hoto basically streechya rather hot nahich ase mhanale tari chalel mag tyache kay? te hi barobar nahich.
nati havit pan jababdarya bandhane nakot he tumache vidhan thode bejababdarapanache vatate (maaf kara). nate jeva asate, tikate te either jababdar nurturing mule kinwa kuthlya tari pressures mule. hi pressures fakta live in relation madhe nahiyet. jababdari kuthech talali jat nahi ithe.
mazyamate lokancha basic approach ch he kahitari taboo, samaj vighatak aahe asa asato tyamule ashya goshtincha deep down roots paryant jaun vicahr karayalahi ghabaratat lok ani mag ashya prakarachya navya concepts na swairachari, bejababdar ashi lables lavun mokle hotat. please lokaho jara objectively ya vishayakade bagha na!
tyagacha mahima gaat gaat apan khup varshe kadhali. tyagachya udattikaranane dole diplelyanna he pan lakshat yet nahi ki tyaagachi expectation he hi ek prakarache exploitation aahe. ani ashya so called tyagamurtinnahi he samajt nahi ki aapla fayada uthaval jatoy.
velaprasangi apan ekmekansathi adjustments karat astoch ani tyala kuthehi nakar nahiye. shevati nate tikavane mhanaje kay adjustments karane hech aahe. pan kadhi nate eka vyaktishich julate purna kutumbashi nahi tar kahdi ulatehi ghadu shakate. mhanaje ekhadya mitrachya ghari jayala aaplyala khup nako vatate pan tyachi maitri tar havi asate tar dusrya ekhadya mitrachi sagali family ch aaple gahr houn jate tasach kahisa ha prakar aahe. yat chuk kahich nahi. pratyekane swatachya aaivadilanchya jababdarya uchlavyat live in significant other kadun swatachya parents chi jababdari ucahlali javi ha agraha talato jo sunesathi kela jato pan javayasathi asa agraha dharane mhanaje kahitari aho papam tharate.!!
hi asli dutappi values asnari kutumba sanstha tikayala havich ka?
aso vishay bharakatala thodasa..
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Ajjuka Cana ilahlao AahosaÊ ( pNa naohmaIicaca complaint ) dovanaagarIt Asat tr bar Jaala Asat ... AsaÜ tÜ vaad nakÜ ) tuJao ivacaar Cana Aahot... pNa malaa pTNaaro naaiht.
maaJaa s~IpuÉYaanao ek~ rahNao (a p`kralaa Aaxaop nahIÊ %yaamauLo ho samaaja ivaGaatk vaOgaro Aaho Asao maI mhNat naahI. pNa na@kIca (amauLo kuTuMba p`qaa maÜiDt inaGaNaar. %yaacao kaya prINaama hÜtIla ho ..USA vaalyaanaa maaiht AsatlaIca. jar puZcyaa ipiZ samaÜr Asa dRXya raihla kI %yaaMcao ...biological parents ekmaokaMcao kÜNaIca naahI laagat ( ikMvaa to Ô> ima~ Aahot ) tr %yaanaa baaikica naatI kaya kLNaar Aahot ..... ka ih naatI vaOgaro saarKI AadXa- gaÜYTI jaÜpasaNaarI saMsÌitca nakÜ AahoÆ
Ajjuka Said:
nati havit pan jababdarya bandhane nakot he tumache vidhan thode bejababdarapanache vatate (maaf kara). nate jeva asate, tikate te either
jababdar nurturing mule kinwa kuthlya tari pressures mule. hi pressures fakta live in relation madhe nahiyet. jababdari kuthech talali jat nahi ithe.
maaJao ho ivaQaana mauiLca baojabaabadarpNaacao naahI. ijaqao ek~ ivacaarapoxaa vaOyai>k ivacaaralaa mah%va idlao jaato %yaa naa%yaamaQao jabaabadarIÊ naato.. ..nurture krNao (alaa iktpt vaava AsatÜÆ
Ajjuka said: ani ashya so called tyagamurtinnahi he samajt nahi ki aapla fayada uthaval jatoy.
(aca ]<ar zakki naI vartI ilahlao AahoÊ maI punha mhNatÜÊ KaMba Asaava tr tÜ laÜKMDacaaÊ vaRxa Asaava tr vaTvaRxa AsaavaaÊ yaoNaaro laÜk ivasaavyaalaa yaotIla pNa KaMbaaca kIMvaa vaRxaaca kaihca ibaGaDNaar naahI. evaZ maÜz )V AaiNa ivacaar AsatIla tr naa%yaaitla baMQana ho.. ..pressure vaaTNaar naahI.
javayasathi asa agraha dharane mhanaje kahitari aho papam tharate.!! ..... mauiLca naahIÊ maaJyaa vaiDlaaMnaI %yaaMcyaa saasaulaa .. Aamacyaa AajaIMnaaÊ svatÁcyaa Aa p`maaNao saMBaaLlao AaiNa AXaI Anaok ]dahrNao maI [qao do] XaktÜ. %yaaga ha Ô> s~I kDunaca Asaayalaa hvaa Asa maI kiQaca mhMTla naahI AaiNa mhNaNaarhI naahI
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ajjukache mhanane mala tari patle. live in mule dusryala samjun ghene, swatantra vyakti mhanun treat karane he jasta hou shakel. always taken for granted ha prakar honar nahi.
pan prashna yeto to mula zali ki. after that, if u seperate, what happens to them? ani ya live in madhe khara tar asa gruhit dharlay ki doghehi kamavte ahet. pan tasa apalyakade astach asa nahi. mag seperation nantar ticha kaay honar? (normally mulgi working naste mhanun 'ticha' mhanalo.) konihi ekane mulanchya jababdaribaddal haat zatkun takale tar?
ani he seperation mhatarpani zale tar non working che kaay hoil?
baki, ekmekanchya palakanna respect dene, te yavese vatane, he apalyat tari nakkich chalu rahil ase mala vatate. ithe US madhe jara atich ahe ki in laws nakose vatatat. apalya hindu swabhavat tase nahiye. tyamule tya goshti far badaltil asa vatat nahi.
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ajjuka,
Naate mhatale ki tyat ekemekankadun kahi na kahi expectations aalich. Don vyaktinamdahli interaction kinva samwaad asha expectations janma detaat. Sadhe room-mates che udaharan ghetale tari he lakshat yeil. Live-In aso kinva Married couple aso, expectations talat nahi. Tyanche praman fakt kami jaast hote.
Live-Inmadhe asa bandhan jachak vatale tar te todun janyacha upaay samor asato. Pun heech gosht Live-In hya concept madhe problem nirmaan karu shakate. "No Commitement Required" hya approachmule ekemekankadun kahi expectach kele gele nahi tar te naate kharya arthaane nurture hou shakate ka ?
Aai vadlani mulanche sangopan karave hi expectation aahe. Pun tyat tyanchi parental jababdaari, tyana milnara anand ha bhaaghi aalach. Hya saglya goshti hataat haat ghalun jaataat. Tya elemekanpasun kharach poornapane veglya karta yetil ka ? Tase nasel tar expectation asane hyaat kay chukiche aahe ?
Chuk hi aahe ki expectations kiti asavyaat hyaa vicharanamdhe. Ani jar paripakva vicharaachya families asteel tar Live-In kay ni lagna kay, donhi elkach tagdyaat tolale janar. Live In can easily become example of selfish attitude of human being. Jar te hatalnari vyakti sakhsham nasel tar "live-in madhe pressures nahit" can be interpreted as "Live-in madhe jababdarya nahit. Commitement nahi"
so sangnyacha mudda ha aahe ki lagna kay kinva live-in kaay, both can be successful only when participating parties are capable of handling them.
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I want a clarification. Topic says Live In Relation / contract marriage system.
Regarding the latter part, if i am not wrong, both parties sign a contract where they mention details about who will get what etc. in case of marriage breakup. This makes divorce a simpler process rather than an expensive and torturous one where lawyers loot the couple. It has all the advantages but one disadvantage i.e. the contract itself looks bad. Dr Ashutosh are you talking about this topic as well?
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Well said Asami.
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very nice Asami. mala hech mhanayache hote. paN itake logical reeteene manData yet nawhate. apekshanbaddal anakhee ase mhaNawe waTate ki apeksha karaNe swabhawik ahe. pan apeksha baLgatana apaN thoDasa taree dusaryacha nakaracha adhikar lakshat Thewala pahije. Apeksha aNi khatree yatalee seema reSha pusaTalee nahee pahije.
Ajjuka, too manDalelya adarsh situation madhe kharech live in aNi lagna apalya + or - points-sah sarakhech hote. paN practical ayuShyat lagnachee samajmanyata warchaDh Tharate ase mala waTate. durdaiwane pratyaksh jagatana sahasa adarsh door rahatat mhaNoon aNi mahattwache mhaNaje natee prachand badaloohee shaktat mhaNoon.
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asamya,
expectations nahi ase nahiye re. tya kiti vastav ani kiti avastav ha prashna aahe. Expectations astatach agadi basic expectation astech ki ekanishtha rahanyachi. well like beti said expectations na nakar yeu shakato hi janeev asane avashyak aahe. ani ashya prakarachi janeev mazyamate live in madhe jasti thevali jate. ani tu mhanatos tase live in relation he kahi no commitment relation aahe ase mala vatat nahi. Relation aale ki kahi ek pramanat commitment yetech. natyatla arth sampato tevha ti commitment hi aapoaap sampate ani he lagnat hi hou shakate mag keval kayada he ekach bandhan urate ani kvachit te trasadayak tharu shakate. Live in madhe kayadyache bandhan nahi ani samaj, family yanchi bandhane va tyatun yenare avastav pressure nahi asa mudda aahe.
>>so sangnyacha mudda ha aahe ki lagna kay kinva live-in kaay, both can be successful only when participating parties are capable of handling them. <<
100% true!
Beti mhanali tase ha better versus standerd asa mudda aahe. ofcourse what is better ha pratyekacha prashan aahe tari hi marriage is a standerd thing socially so people follow. well things change and society also changes so...
tasech tase ideal situation madhe baghitale tar donhi madhe kahich farak nahi.
var kunitari doghehi arthik drushtya independant asnyacha kinwa nasanyacha mudda kadhala hota. well arthik swatantrya nasanarya mulila Live In che swatantrya tar sodach pan tyacha vichar karanyahce swatantrya tari asle ki nahi hi shankach ahe. tevha ha mudda sadhyatari doghehi jan milavate ani swatachya payavar ubhe asanare aahet he gruhit dharayala have.
ani mulancha mudda ha khup nanataracha aahe. lagnamadhe mule hi aajatari samajik apariharyata aahe. Live In madhe nahi. ani pratyekala mule havich astat ase nahi. Live In madhe janmalelya mulanche kay ha prashan kharach khup subjective aahe. aapla samaj aajunahi single mother la manyata dyayla kacharato. I mean divorcee kinwa widow asel tar vegali goshta pan otherwise kacahrato he kharech. Sushmita Sen ne ek mulagi dattak ghetliye ani tya mulichya shaletlya pragativarun Sushmita Sen la best parent award milale tya shaleche. kiti jananna hi goshta digest hoil? tine dattak ghetle tar ekhadine swatache hou dile ani vadhavale. hi mule normal hou shakatat tar live in madhali ka nahi? ani sagle vyavasthit asunahi problem children kahi kami nahiyet.
Nate tutale ki mulanche kay ha prashna khup rare asel asa mala vatate. karan Live In jodapyachi commitment baddal purna khatri pateparyant te generally he paulach uchalanar nahit. yaulat lagnat sadharan varsh did varshanantar kay ata news kadhi yacha itka mara suru hoto ki you become conditioned for it mag aaple lagna kiti strong aahe kinwa nahi yacha vichar hi hot nahi. (nuktich mazya agadi javalachya maitrinichi hi case gahdaleli baghun aaley.) mulanchya babtit honari ghai hi suddha goshta ya problemchay talashi aahe he bahgitle pahije..
aso.. khup bharakatale ata pure..
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live in ani contract padhatichi manDani karaayachi garaj kaa padalii hyaachyaa madhun kaahi mudde miLu shakatiil.
1. jase ajjuka mhanalii ki laganaat bahutanshi package deal miLate.. te kadaachit hya syatems madhe avoid karata yeu shakate..(karayachi ka garaj bhasalii)
2. easy termination ..lagn haa forged bond asato live/contract gives amount of flexibility
3. basic divergence of fundamentals. shararik garaj aani manasik garaj ani itar garajaa hya ekaach wyakti kadun bhagalyaa jaau shakataat kaa?
tyaach pramane aajachyaa jagaat wayaktik dheyye saadhya karataanaa kautumbik jabaabdaari pelat naahi ashaweli hya systems flexibility aani suwarnmadhyaa ghathu shakataat...
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Baherachya deshat Live In kitapat seriously ghetalya jate he mala muleech mahiti nahi. pan jara vichar kara, lagna na karata ek avivaheet mulaga aani mulagi sobat rahilet. Ek don varshanantar te parat vegale rahayala lagalet tar tumhala vatat ka samaj ashya mulanna changalya vicharane baghateel. Even Broad Minded janata suddha ashya jodapyala nave thevateel. Ek mulagi ghaat ushira paul thevate hech jar khapat nasel tar ek don varsha live-in madhe kadhane he tar kiti taree pramanat Tikatmak aahe. Mala tari live-in madhe kahi far advantage vatat nahit. Shiway Live-In madhe kiti mule-mulee hee sabhya aani pranjal vicharanchi asatat. kadachit hyat kunala fakt sobaticha fayadahee ghyayacha asel tar.....
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Ithe majha prashan agadi saral ahe, Dr Ashutosh kuthe ahet? Ek prashna takun tey swataha gayab zalet!
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rasik disla mulaga ki pad premat sarakha ha live in hca prakar nahiye. generally both are mature enough and they od take this decision after giving it a whole lot of thoughts.
ani samaj kay mhanel evadhach vichar kela tar badal ani sudahrana kadhich honar nahit. bar samaj kuthlyahi bajune boltoch..
The people should be strong enough to takte that. I think hahi vichar ashi jodapi karat asavit kinwa ideally karava.
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lokaho I have not yet formed my opinions about this. But I heard on NPR today, that kids in live-in relationships, do worse than kids in marriage. doesn't always mean that all kids in marriage do well, but just as statistics I thaught it was an intresting issue to be considered, and of some weightage in this discussion
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swati,
kahi lok nehamich ase nana BB ughadtat ani swataha tyavar bolatach nahit..:):)
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Hi Storvi - I heard the same NPR story on my way to work this morning but I don't think what-you-said-they-said-was-what-they-said on the radio :)
The story was about the dept of health and human services, i.e the fed govt, allocating $300 million for 'encouraging' marriages. Sec of HHS - Tommy Thompson - gave some stats about how kids in marriages were less likely to become criminals and use drugs etc etc when compared to kids raised by *single parents*. The story did not refer to live-in couples.
I think kids raised by live-in couples are also less likely to turn into 'bad apples' when compared to those raised by single parents, specially *poor* single parents. Having two people who live together and who supervise and raise these kids is what makes the difference. Whether they are married (just a social stamp) or live-in does not.
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I don't remember the details, so you may be right, I was driving when I heard it anyway:-)
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Ajjuka, Attac sagle posts vacat hote, ani tuzehi posts vacle. Farach chhan lihilays! Patla mala.Mi svataha hya vishayavar kadhi viachar nahi kelay, tyamule I don't have anything to add, pun mala just tuze posts appreciate karavese vatle.
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well like beti said expectations na nakar yeu shakato hi janeev asane avashyak aahe. ani ashya prakarachi janeev mazyamate live in madhe jasti thevali jate.
>> Ajjuka he neetse kalale naahi. Live-in madhe asa chance jaasti ka asato ?
Asi jaaniv asane ha mansachya maturitycha bhaag asun kuthlya prakarache relations aahet hyacha nahi asa mala vatate. Asha mature vicharanchya vyaktina live-in kaay kinva lagn akaay tyani kahich farak padu naye.
Ajjuka said,
ani tu mhanatos tase live in relation he kahi no commitment relation aahe ase mala vatat nahi.
>> nahi me asa mhanat nahiye ki livein madhe commitement nasataat. Me tula ek udaharan dila ki jat manushyache vichaar pragalbha nasateel tar live-in kasa exploit hou shakte hyacha ? Live In cha artha no commitement asa gheun tyacha gair fayda kasa gehtala jau shakto he me sangat hoto.
Arthaat hya madhe live in hya prakaracha dosh aahe asa me mulich suchavat nahiye tar live In kay kinva lagna kay he donhi te hatalanarya vyaktichya kuvativar avalambun asataat asa mala mhanayache hote. Bharatasarkhya deshaat jithe don bhinnlingi vyaktinmadhil sambandh he sanshayit najarene pahile jataat tithe LiveIncha concept kiti janana (in general samajala) zepel hyachi mala shanka vatatey. (of course I'm not suggesting that LiveIn should not be initiated in India or so)
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mi aikale ahe ki live in system ata mumbaimadhye baryapaiki jam pakadu lagali ahe. especially high class and high middleclass chya tarun mulamulinmadhye. he kitpat khare ahe?
6/7 varhsapurvi tv var kiran khercha ek talk show asayacha. tyat iravati harshe ani yatin karyekar ya don actorsni, live inche samrthan kele hote. te doghe pan barech varshe living in karat hote. pan hallich wachala, ki tyanantar tyancha lagna zala, ani hallich divorce/ separation zala. tya article madhye asaehi lihilela ki iravati harshe chi career changali progress hotey ani yatin karyekarchi nahi, mhanun he separation zale.
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tyanantar tyache dusre live in hi zale ase aiktey. ti mazich maitrin aahe.
anyways, bayako kinwa female sig.other aaplyaa pudhe gelyane honare ego problems he baryachashya thikani astatach lagnat hi ani Live In madhehi. tyala Male Ego karan aahe type of relationship naih.
Yes Asami,
relationship kashi zelayachi he tyachya tyachya kuvativar avalambun asate taymule things can turn good or bad.
apan jar total Ideal situation ghetli tar lagna ani live in yamadhe kayadyache bandhan yapalikade kahich farka nahi pan otherwise mala nitase explain karata yet nasel pan mala vatate ki lagnamadhe ekmekanna gruhit dharane patkan suru hote. ani mag natyavar taan yeu lagatat wheareas Live In he nate explore karayahce aahe asach general agenda aslyamule tethe aapoaapach ekmekanchya kalane vagale jate kinwa nidan gruhit dharane kami hote. ase mala vatate. mala nit explain nahiye karata yet te.
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>>anyways, bayako kinwa female sig.other aaplyaa pudhe gelyane honare ego problems he baryachashya thikani astatach lagnat hi ani Live In madhehi. tyala Male Ego karan aahe type of relationship naih.
ajjuka, I do agree. I never said otherwise.
baki chalu dya discussions. mi swata ya babtit phar vichar na kelyane vishesh contribute karu shakat nahi. sahaj kahi athavala te lhila var
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by reading all the posts, i have few questions in my mind,i dont know how they can be answered by live in relationships (LIR!), however i can say that marriage and
family and all the relatives (which are considered just as an overhead in LIRs ) do have a better opportuinity to answer them.
as citizens of a particular country or for that matter a good human being, we have a duty to raise a good family, and particularly making ones kids as a good citizen
and human as well.
and i think, all the atmosphere of being with relatives and the collective 'sanskar' which are made by all and not just one person or two,makes one grow, makes one
feel comfortable with life, and the experiences of all help the kid grow..
this is especially overlooked in LIRs it seems .... isnt there a greater chance of the kid being born out of such relationship to get spoiled.. and in that terms what are
we contributing to society/country not even a good person? i guess not everybody is socially so active.. so this at least has to be our contribution...for this we should
try..
and by not allowing to assume/expect/taken for granted and not establishing any "official" relation, isnt the person missing the essence of the relationship and the
love/affection/care which one can get from the partners parents, relatives ?
correct me if i am mistaken in this or the points i have raised above.
as due to lack of time i have not read all the posts in depth.. pls. help me in pointing out repetitions ..
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Well said Indradhanu. Mala tari live-in farse patat nahi. Varil discussions madhe jo 'gruhit dharne' ha mudda ahe to live-in madhe honar nahi ase nahi kinva marriage madhe hoil asehi nahi. Marriage madhe gruhit dharlya janyachi shakyata jast ahe pan shevti te swatahavar ahe ki kuni tumhala kiti 'gruhit' dharave. Mazhya mate tari to tumchya personality cha bhag ahe, relationship cha nahi. Ani tumhi pan parkhad asal tar kuni tumhala kase gruhit dharel?
Ajun ek gosht - basically live in madhe pan barech problems similar asnar. Pan tumhi jenvha tya relationship shi 'experiment' karat asta tenvha swatala zhokun det nahi ka? I mean, tumhi tya relationship madhe swatache tan-man-dhan det nahi ka? If one does not do that, then he/she is not sincere enough. And if one does, why not give it a name? And then, if live-in doesn't work, you go and do the same 'experiment' with someone else. Isn't that animal-like behaviour? America ani itar developed nations madhe he prakar khup jast ahet - pan ha samaj sukhi ahe ka? Ya thikani swatahache independence he atishay important aste ani adjustments pan farshya hotanna disat nahit. Ultimately ti couples separate hotat. Ani vay vadhle tari personal life madhe settled nastat. Punha dating ani experimenting suruch aste.
So my point is: Live in concept navin nahi, pan successful ahe ka? Tyacha specific asa kahich fayda disat nahi.
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indradhanu - i have a different take on this...
>as citizens of a particular country or for that matter a good human being,
>we have a duty to raise a good family,
>and particularly making ones kids as a good citizen and human as well.
assuming we have that 'duty' i think we can raise 'good' kids if we ourselves are 'good' and that is not determined by whether we are in a LIR or married. there are, i suspect, atleast a few married couples who are rotten parents :)
>and i think, all the atmosphere of being with relatives and the collective 'sanskar'
>which are made by all and not just one person or two,makes one grow, makes one
>feel comfortable with life, and the experiences of all help the kid grow..
>this is especially overlooked in LIRs it seems ....
why would this be overlooked in a LIR unless the parents and relatives of the folks who are in LIRs disown them and refuse to interact with them solely because they are in LIRs? even folks in LIRs can be part of a community can they not?
>isnt there a greater chance of the kid being born out of such
>relationship to get spoiled.. and in that terms what are
>we contributing to society/country not even a good person?
i doubt there is any greater chance unless the parents themselves 'spoil' the kid. granted society could make life for a kid born out of wedlock such hell that the kid feels like an outsider but that can be countered by parents who anticipate this - and i think many LIR couples who have kids do
>"official" relation, isnt the person
>missing the essence of the relationship and the
>love/affection/care which one can get from the partners parents, relatives ?
on the contrary, when there is no official bond, the kid would probably get attention and love only if the parents really want to give it and it would be a little less 'forced'
in any case, i personally think rearing children to be 'good citizens' should be the parents' responsibility and LIR-parents are parents too! don't forget that the track record for marriages isn't all that stellar unless you think the majority of people are raising armies of kids to be 'good citizens'. moreover, marriages can always end in divorce...
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Ajit
I guess Indradhanu's take on this is in the context of Indian society which is not open minded as far as relations are concerned. As you have rightly pointed out that there will be more percentage of parents and relatives to disown children bornt through LIR.
As such basic mentality to review such relations of "typical" Indian is not in favour of supporting LIR. Indivisual is not that importanat as Family is as per Indian mentality which is basic cause LIR may not get favoured.
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