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Archive through June 23, 2003

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Upas
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 3:47 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

baoTIÊ AitXaya mau_osaUd AaiNa Cana maaMDlaI Aahosa posts .
XyaaÊ kahI ilahayalaa iXallakca naahI zovalasa baGa²:-O



Thepunekar
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 11:04 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

maaJyaa dÜna tIna Amaoirkna maOi~NaIMnaI Ana eka ima~anaI malaa AsaM saaMigatlaM hÜtM kI %yaaMcyaakDo pNa ha ]cca naIca BaodBaava Aahoca. EaImaMt AaiNa gairbaaMmaQao ³ikMvaaÊ sauiXaixat AaiNa AiXaixataMmaQao´ lagnao @vaicat hÜtat. JaalaIÊ trI Anaokda %yaaMcaI pirNatI GaTsfÜTat hÜto. Ana itqaohI navara Aaiqa-k ikMvaa XaOxaiNak dRYT\yaa maagao va baayakÜ puZo Asaa p`kar @vaicatca idsatÜ. baayakÜlaa maarhaNa krNaaro itqaohI idsatat. eirna ba`ÜkÜivaca caI AXaIca kaihXaI kqaa AahoÊ pNa na@kI Aazvat naahI. ta%pya-Ê itqaohI puÉYa p`Qaana saMskRtIca Aaho.
Ana arch naM idlaolyaa ]dahrNaasaarKoca ]dahrNa AaplyaakDo naahIÊ AaXaa BaÜsalaoMcaoÆ ikMvaaÊ Dr Ainala AvacaTaMcaoÆ malaa vaaTtMÊ dÜinhhI izkaNaI AXaI lagnao itt@yaaca vaakD\yaa najaronaI paihlaI jaatat.

Pama
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 3:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Amaoirka AaiNa Baart yaa dÜna doXaatlaI lagna tulanaa krNyaasaarKI Aahot kaÆ Asaa p`Xna malaa naohmaI pDtÜ.jar Amaoirkot [tko broad minded laÜk Aahot jao jaat patÊ AaqaI-k pirisqatI [%yaadI caa ivacaar krt naahIt lagna krtanaaÊ f> mana jauLava AXaI Apoxaa Asato tr maga GaTsfÜTaca p`maaNa Aaplyaapoxaa [qao [Atk jaast ka AahoÆ tohI ekmaokaMXaI pTt naahI mhNaUnaÆ

Vinaydesai
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 3:51 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Broad Minded poxaa Self Centered ha Xabd Taklaa tr AapÜAap baÜQa hܚla.

BTW Arch p`Xna caaMgalaa Aaho. Equal Rights ho svatÁlaa laaBadayak Asaavaot tovhaca vaaprayacao Asatat

Keya
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 3:55 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

pmaaÊ
%yaacao karNa vyai>svaatM~\yaacaa Aitrok ho Aaho. kuzlyaahI gaÜYTIpoxaaÊ vya>Ipoxaa ‘maI’Ê ‘maaJaI’ hI Baavanaa jaast p`baL Asato. BaartIyaaMsarKo samajaUna GaoNaoÊ tDjaÜD krNao KUp kmaI...

Arch
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 4:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Aaid%yaÊ maI jaoMvha sauÉvaat kolaI toMvha AXaI Apoxaa kolaI nhvatI. paNa tuJa barÜbar Aaho. ho views and comments var hlavaayalaa hrkt naaho

Pama
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 4:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

ivanaya Êkoyaa tumaca mhNaNa AgadI barÜbar Aaho.maJyaa inairxaNaap`maaNao [qalyaa laÜkaMvar samaajaacaÊ (relations ) ca baMQna naahIÊmhNaUna ha vyai>svaatM~\yaacaa Aitrok hÜtÜÊp`%yaok jaNa Aap Aapla baGt.Kr tr ivaYayaalaa Qa$na naahIÊpNa ek ikssaa eklaa AaiNa AamhI hOraNa JaalaÜ.maaJyaa navaáyaacaI classmate Aaho.itcaa winter maQao car skid hÜ]na far BayaMkr accident Jaalaa.ba`ona saja-rI kolaI AaiNa tI qaÜD@yaat vaacalaI.2 maihnyaat tI kamaacyaa izkaNaI ekTI rhayalaa laagalaI. i can take care of myself m*NaUna.vaastivak she should not have stayed alone %yaathI tI mhNaalaI my mom was so nice to come here for 3 days all the way from florida tI rahto us cya dusaáyaa TÜkalaa.Aata yaalaa kaya m*NaalaÆAXyaavaoLI relations ica baMQna AaNaI javaiLk hvaIXaI vaaTto.Aaplyaa kDcaI kuzlaI Aaš AaXyaa maUlaIlaa ekT rahU došlaÆ

Pama
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 4:52 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

arch.. he sagla vishayapasun bharkatte ahe na? mala vatta tu punha neet vishayakadhe valav..nahi tar nuste discussions hot rahatil eithe.ani tuza mudda bajula rahil..

Arch
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 2:29 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

saujayaÊ tuJyaa ima~aMca mhNaNa Kr Asaola pNa %ge phata Asao discriminatory laÜk [qao baroca kmaI Aahot. maaJyaa phaNyaat dÜna Sr. Vice Presidents Aahot %yaaMcao navaro house husbands Aahot. %yaa Aaplyaa career ca puYkLca Eaoya Aaplyaa navaáyaaMnaa dotat. Professional women’s conference maQyao (a dÜGaIhI AavajaU-na Aaplyaa navaáyaaMba_la baÜlatat. (a Aaplyaalaa GaoNyaasaar#yaa gaÜYTI Aahot.

AaQaI maI ijaqao kama krt hÜtoÊ itqao eka summer laa CEO caa maulagaa maaJyaa dept laa internship krt hÜta. ekda %yaacao vaDIla Aamacyaa dept laa meeting laa Aalao Asatanaa ha maulagaa %yaacyaa desk paXaI nausataca basalaa hÜta. %yaaMnaI %yaalaa ivacaarla kI tulaa kahI kama naahI kaÆ tÜ mhNaalaa Aataca maI saMpvala AaiNa dusara project malaa ]Va doNaar Aahot. vaDIla mhNaalao baahor maintenance caI laÜk lawn saaÔ krt Aahot %yaaMnaa jaa}na madt kr. tÜ lagaoca gaolaa AanaI %yaaMnaa madt krayalaa laagalaa. (acaa Aqa- [qao kYTaMnaa ikMmat Aaho AaiNa kuzlyaahI kamaalaa kmaI laoKla jaat naahI. %yaamauLo kÜNa kuzla kama krtÜ %yaacyaavar %yaa maaNasaacaa djaa- zrvalaa jaat naahI AaiNa %yaamauLo AXaI lagna successful hÜtat.

koyaÊ divorce ca p`maaNa AaplyaakDopNa KUp vaaZla Aaho. (aca karNa independence . hllaI maulaI iXaklaolyaa AaiNa imaLva%yaa Asatat. pTla naahI tr Aaplyaa payaavar ]Byaa rahU Xaktat. maaJaa idr mauMbašmaQyao divorce lawyer Aaho AaiNa %yaacaI roaring practice Aaho clients jaast k$na young couples Asatat.


Nirakar
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 7:23 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Keya, Bhartatlya sarakhe samjaun ghenare lok kami aahet ase tu lihiles. Mala he mulich patat nahi.
Bhartat divorce kami aahet karan stri swatahachya payavar ubhi rahu shakat nahi mhanun. Purvi jenva striya chul ani mul karayachya tenva ghatasphotache praman javal javal shunya hote, aaj jya muli swatahachya payavar ubhya aahet tyach ghatasphot ghetat, sadhya muli baher job karat ani swatantra asatat mhanunach aaj kal ghatasphotache praman jast aahe.

Ghatsphot mhanje doghanche ek mekannshi patat nahi mhanun vegale hone. Navrayne takun dene mhanje ghatasphot nave. He muddam lihile karan mazya matala ugich fate nako.


Nirakar
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 7:31 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Mul vishay: asa ka asat?
Bhartat he asech asat karan apan navin vichar lavkar ghet nahi. Rudhi na chikatane mhanje apala jeev ki pran. Khot vatat asel tar etar BB bagha, lagech prachiti yel.

Ata hechyavar kahi lok mhantil ki bhartiya kiti sarva samveshak aahe etc, pan te he visartil ki he samaveshan jetyache aahe, aplyala tyat choice navata

Mukund
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 9:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

arch and beti: PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR WRITING THIS IN ENGLISH!only reason I am writing this in English because its faster for me to write here in English than Devnagari and I want to put my thoughts as they come without loosing the chain of thought and that can happen when I am worried about Devnagari
font! I love Marathi and I am proud of being Marathi.
Having said that I want to tell both of you one thing.PLEASE BE AWARE OF CAN OF WORMS YOU GUYS ARE OPENING with your views and support of marriages you saw in arch's work place and wishing such things to happen in Indian society i.e. female executive marring a truck driver or onother example of staying home husband of an executive woman or in general support of the marriage system in USA.If it was such a equality based system why do u guys think 7 out of 10 marriages fail?so please dont romanticize the marriage system in USA based on few isolated examples.Happy and succesful marriage doesnt depend on which partner stays home,who makes more money or who is taller or shorter.You guys are totally missing the keys for happy and succesful marriage.Mostly in your comments I feel the tone that in India or with Indian women there is somehow injustice in the past(and present!) and how indian women who stayed home in the past were smarter than husbands and they were made to do inferior job of taking care of household work in the kitchen all their life.So you yourself are acknowledging that somehow women who stay home and stay as housewife are doing inferior job of keeping the household together.I think household work is equally important in stable and happy marriages.Both men and women are the way they are due to eons of socities views about gender role.In any marriage be it between American couple or Indian couple,its totally depends upon the mutual agreement ,respect and understanding who has what role in the marriage. Marriage is a partnership.Its differant for differant couples how they delegate the differant responsibilities and their comfortableness in fulfilling those roles.They both should have understanding of the partnership and respect for those assigned roles.But they must have clear understanding of those roles,whatever they may be,including stay home-mom husband,before marriage.Dont marry the person if your views do not match! Simple!If you ask me,at the risk of being called a male chauvinsit pig,I think women are better fit with their inherant qualities to be better care givers of kids when they are young,but again their are exceptions,so please dont write I know so and so who is wonderful stay home father,I again emphasize that this totally depends on couples understanding,agrrement and clear communication who is going to perform what role in the marriage.And Beti when you said society says dont look at guys looks but look at his brains,in todays world girls have enough brains to pick a husband who is smart and not ugly! nobody should marry a guy who they are not atrracted to.Now again who will attract to whom you will never know! Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!And even though it sounds like a cliche,once the initial phase of attraction of physical beauty is over, one does love or hate the way person thinks and treats you.
so my point is to arch and beti,one should base their marriage decision on mutual respect and understanding of roles rather than repenting and differing and cursing later.Not all couples are happy only if father stays home and not all couples are happy where there is stay home mom.Only those couples are happy with whom there is mutual respect for each others role and clear understanding and loving communication.Such happy marriages to me are more important than bickering about why cant in India truck driver marries a doctor girl or why Indian husbands will never stay home or why in India there is no concept of highschool sweetheart. Although I am for individual freedom but believe me you dont want some of the extreme individualism in American society to creep in Indian culture.
And if we are to talk about social anthropological reasons why certain things will or will not happen in Indian society and with Indian men/women we need onother bb for that!

Adityaranade
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 9:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Mukund-good post...very thoughtful, carefully written, considering almost all aspects of the issue.

Mukund
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 10:24 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Adityaranade: Aditya I think we are on the same wavelength.In the past on other bb's I liked your postings too. I would like to be in touch with you as good friends.Please e mail me. I will be happy to saty in touch.

Abedekar
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 10:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

very interesting post mukund ... and a very thought provoking one too.
-----
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR WRITING THIS IN ENGLISH! ....I want to put my thoughts as they come without loosing the chain of thought and that can happen when I am worried about Devnagari

>>>> and a very smart idea to put a disclaimer ....!!

Beti
Thursday, June 19, 2003 - 11:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

maukund .. tumacao laamba lacak pÜst vaacalao.. (a pÜsT maQaUna jao saUicat kolao Aaho tsao kahI malaa mhNaayacao naahIyao.. I DO NOT SUPPORT EXTREME INDIVIDUALISM OR DO NOT ROMANTICISE ABT AMERICAN MARRIAGE SYSTEM AND HAVENT SAID ANY THING OF THE KIND. I AM FLABBERGASTED. HOW CAN ONE DRAW SUCH REMOTE CONCLUSIONS. ha bb sauÉ krtanaa hoca kaya to ]cca AaiNa Baartatlao to tucC Asaa kahI Aca-caa saUr malaa idsat naahI. hÜ naa ga Aca-Æ AaiNa Amaoirkna saMsaÌtIcao gaÜDvao ibaDvao maI gaat naahI. Aca- nao ek inarIxaNa kolao. ka ha p`Xna pDlaa. itlaa ]<ar saucaonaa. itnao Aaplyaalaa ivacaarlao [tkoca. (a gaÜYTI Kro tr ]GaD AaAhot trI %yaa prt spYT ilaihto Aaho. haM Aata maaJao jaD marazI ha problem Asaola tr %yaalaa maaJaa [laaja naahI.

maI Ô> Eama p`itYzocao mah<va naahI AaplyaakDo ho ilaihlao.
AaiNa tumhI past maQao jao Jaalao %yaaba_la iXalpacao pÜst AaiNa maaJao pÜsT prt vaacaala tr %yaacaa e@maokaMXaI relevance kLola. dusaro Asao ik jaovha maI ‘duyyama djaa-cao Garkama’ mhTlao tovha‘tqaakiqat mhNajao so called ho ivaXaoYaNa vaaprlao Aaho .. trI tumhI mhNata maI house wives or house work caa second rate status acknowledge krtoÆ ho KUpca Jaalao. AaiNa better fit ba_la Asaola baa Asaa tumacaa bias . maaJaa naahI. to maI ilaihlao. %yaat caUk naahI.:-)
... dont marry a man.... .. hI maaJyaa comment varcaI savaa-At lopsided comment Aaho. karNa maI ho barÜbar ik caUkÊ kravao ik naahI ho ilaihlao nahIyao.. I was talking about the existing trend.. Sir, here we arent discussing what is right or wrong.. we are discussing why? .. puZo jaa}na kaya hÜtanaa idsato bahutokdaÆ Aqaa-tca baaš ’samajaUtdarpNaa‘ daKvato AaiNa yaatca saáva Aalao.

puZcaa mau_a jar ’Ô> baašcao‘ $p ha AajahI lagnaat mah<vaacaa factor nasata tr fair and lovely cyaa saMtapjanak jaaihratI idsalyaa nasa%yaa. AXaa iktI jaaihratIt puÉYaacao lagna say baldness.. an almost male only beauty hassle mauLo hÜt naahI Asao mhNalaolao AsatoÆ yaava$naca AjaUnahI puÉXaacao $p duyyama AaiNa s~Icao p`qama ho idsaUna yaoto. AaiNa mhNaUnaca NRI, IIT ENgg sauwa ’gaÜrIÊsaDsaDošt.... etc. vaQaU hvaI mhNatÜ. maulaIncyaa jaaihratIt Aca- mhNaalaI tsao ]Mca ]cca iXaixat .. laa p`aQaanya Asato. whether todays gals are smart enough to choose... or not.. this point remains.

%yaathI maI ilaihlaolaa XaovaTca pircCod vaacaa.. maI ‘AajahI Asaoca hÜto Asao naahI’ hIhI spYT ilaihlao Aaho.AaiNa maaJaI mato ekaMgaI AsatIlahI hohI ilaihlaya.

kaya AsatM maukuMd jaovhaÊ tumhI sasaUna ha^ispTlacyaa BayaaNa burns ward maQao jaa}na baihNaIMcao lagna vhavao mhNaUna Ô> tÜMD ]rlaolyaa dohanao jaaLNaaáyaa saasarcyaaMcyaa baajaUnao idlaolao testimonial eoklao Asaola trÊ maarhaNa saÜsaUna pÜracyaa XaaLocaI ÔI lapvaUna tumacyaa AaškDo saaMBaaLayalaa doNaarI paMZrpoXaa baaš paihlaI Asaola tr .. so on and so forth tumacao Aaplyaa samaajaacao ica~ [tko ]jaL rhat naahI. trI maI balanced ilahayacaa p`ya%na kolaa Aaho. tumhI tÜ punha najaroKalaUna Gaatlaa tr ho pTola ik maI kuzohI Asao mhNat naahI ik high school sweetheart concept AaplyaakDo yaavaI Aqavaa kuNyaa sauiXaixat maulaInao thrill mhNaUna T/k D/ayavhrXaI lagna kravao. maaJao mhNaNao [tkoca Aaho ik bahusaM#ya laÜk svatÁcyaa AanaMdasaazI T/k D/ayavhr ikMvaa iXaxak ikMvaa payalaT kahI hI hÜt Asaola tr %yaa %yaa kamaalaa p`itYza imaLto. AaiNa maga itqao social discrimination kmaI hÜto. jasao Aaplao T/k D/ayavhr ho 98% rowdy ca Asatat tsao hÜNaar naahI. AaiNa maI AsaohI Aijabaat mhNat Aqavaa mhNaalao naahI ik Amaoirkna saMsËutI without problems Aaho. AaiNa lagna kovha yaXasvaI hÜto yaavar tumacao ivacaar caaMgalao Aahot pNa yaa bb caa p`Xna tÜ hÜta kaÆ naahI. p`Xna hÜta Asao AaplyaakDo ka hÜt naahI. maI karNao idlaI tI gross mentality caI AaiNa changes ba_la sauwa ilaihlao.. So I guess I have answered most of ur cocerns b4 itself.. perhaps u missed it.. or misunderstood it as appears from ur comments on my comments ... :-)
yaahUna AiQak ilaihNyaasaarKo yaa ivaYayaavar majakDo kahI naahI .. so u guys carry on.. as of AaQauinak s~IcaI samaanata .. tÜ gahna vaadacaa mau_a Aaho.. yaa bb cyaa kxaot yaot naahI.. tr %yaavar punha kovha trI ...

Arch
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 12:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

p`%yaok ilaihNyaacaa XabdXa : Aqa- GaotlyaamauLo maI ho post ilaiht Aaho. maI jaoMvha ilaihla kI Jessica nao truck driver XaI lagna kola %yaacaa evaZaca saMbaMQa Aaho kI iXaxaNaanao kmaI iXaklaolaa navara AaplyaakDo maanya krtIla kaÆ lagaoca navara truck driver accept krtIla ka Asaa hÜt naahI. karNa tsa baGaayalaa gaola tr [qalaa truck driver puYkLXaa Professional poxaa jaast pOsao kmavatÜ. AaplyaasarKI %yaacaI saaMpi<ak sqaIit nasato. %yaamauLo Aapla truck driver AaiNa [qalaa truck driver (acaI tulanaa hÜ}ca Xakt naahI. ivacaarNyaacaa mau_a Asaa hÜta kI maulaIpoxaa profession, education, income (a baabatIt kmaI Asalaolaa maulagaa maulagaI ikMvaa AašvaiDla accept krtIla ka ikMvaa maulaInao Asaa maulagaa inavaDlaa tr Garcao accept krtIla ka.

maukuMdÊ communication, understanding ha lagnaacaa jarI mau#ya payaa Asalaa trI kahI vyaavahairkÊ tk-XauQa ivacaaraMcaIpNa jaÉrt Asato.

Mukund
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 1:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Please somebody explain me why on all the bbs on myboli people are getting offended and feel attacked personally when such is not the case?

Beti I sincerely and personally oppologize for any personal attack you felt in my LONGGGGGGGGG post.I never intended that and if my post came across like that I am extremly sorry . I have read your other posts in past on other bbs and I really liked many of them. I do not have anything personal against you.
When I said you dont want american extreme individualism to creep in our culture I meant YOU ALL!I never said you are advocating high school sweetheart trend( although your or mine advocating/not advocating doesnt have ant effect on whats really happening in collages in India!)
And I thought I was making relevant comments on the topic without worring about if I am talking about WHY or whats RIGHT or WRONG!I am sorry if I overstepped the boundary of this bb!I really think if we just limit to why and not how and what it should be then we are missing a great forum like this in exchanging our ideas on such a good topic!
If you want to know why such things you dont see in India? I will tell you why!Our society as you know was based on caste system for 5000 years! In that system traditionally lower cast people did jobs which did not need education and were low paying jobs such as driver,janator etc whereas doctors and other highly educated and paid jobs were sole property of higher cast. So obviously there is a broo ha ha if a girl marries a driver or janator!Same is true if a girl marries a guy who stays home!He is cosidered a BUM!BAYKOCHYA PAISHAWAR AITA KHANARA!If you read manusmruti it clearly says( along with many other hindu scriptures)a girl should marry a higher or equal cast husband!subconciously(and unfortunately!) even today we in india take lot of our decisions like marriage based on such traditional thinking.If you read manusmriti you will be nauseated with some of the thoughts on caste system and women! I will leave it up to you to read that if you want.In my prvious post I was merely trying to say how a decision of marriage should be taken and how each couple should have well understood and defined roles acording to THEM!
And I still dont get your point about beauty! As I said beauty is in the eyes of beholder! If I were you I will not let me bother by ads of fair and lovely!Beti if you come to USA you will always be mad!On tv here and in magazines everywhere they advertise so many womens make up ads!If you think guy is so shallow just ignore such people!they are not worth your time and you dont have to let you get stressed out on those people.
I also did not get the relevance of daughter in law burned by her inlaws and abused middle class woman saving money for school fees.You definately want nothing to do with such barbaric people! really!such abused women will be better off alone than living with such beasts.
Beti I hope we can discuss freely again on other issues on other bbs in future without feeling any animosity.
I appologize arch in advance if she felt the same personal attack as Beti felt with my previous post.
LASTLY I DID NOT WRITE THIS POST THINKING OR WORRING ABOUTTHE LENGTH OF THE POST! PLEASE RESERVE YOUR REMARK ON THE LENGTH OF MY POST! I THINK COMMUNICATING ONES THOUTHS IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS FORUM WITHOUT WORRING ABOUT THE LENGTH OF THE POSTS! I RATHER BE CLEAR AND THOROUGH THAN SOME STUPID COMMENT FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING.

Mukund
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 1:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

arch: what else could be more logical and practical than thinking about how you communicate and how you understand the partner in marriage decisions?CAST SYSTEM?

Beti
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 1:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

U may not bother abt beauty.. what is the trend.. my dear sir, we are talking of trends here.. and well u start with arch and beti.. and say it aint personal.. any ways since u say that is not ure intention, i accept it.. fullstop. thanks for being considerate. It is nice to c some ppl are so :-)

I wrote abt those incidences to xplain why i am such a female chaunist :-) It is theoreticlly correct that they should leave such ppl.. but it is nearly impossible thanks to the mindset set on old values which i mentioned. so thouch americanism is sick.. as u say manusmrity based Indian society too is sick.

Lastly the adjective long was not written with the idea of belittling you.. Please forgive me if u felt so.. I felt gr8 actually.. that some one can write as much as I do.. :-)

Now please steer ur conversation to the topic folks.. me goes to the lab :-)

Thepunekar
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 5:33 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

arch, tU jao VP mhNat Aahosa %yaaMcyaabaabatIt AXaI Xa@yata puYkL Aaho kI %yaaMcao navaro AaQaI kahItrI ]<ama kiryar krt hÜtoÊ Ana naMtr kahI kaLasaazI ikMvaa kayamacao to house husband Jaalao.
pUva- iknaaáyaavarcyaa old money vaalyaa laÜkaMmaQao ikMvaa To@sasa cyaa tola saama`ajyaaMmaQao iXarkava krNao iktI kzINa Asato (acaI vaNa-nao maI Anaokda eoklaI Aahot.
mauLatÊ jar ha BaodBaava itqao [tka nasataÊ tr pretty woman saarKa ica~pT kÜNaalaa kaZavasaaca vaaTlaa nasata. tÜ p`kar dumaI-L Aaho mhNaUnaca tsaa ica~pT inaGaalaa. tXaIca qaÜDIXaI kqaa the banger sisters caI Aaho.
pNa itqao arch mhNato tsao p`kar GaDNyaacaI Xa@yata Aaplyaapoxaa jaastÊ ho maanya. malaa f> [tkMca mhNaayacaM hÜtM kI itqao ekdma saÜnyaacyaa ivaTa vagaOro naahIyaot.
Ana to ‘idsaNyaaba_la malaa kahI Apoxaa naahIt’ vagaOro baÜlaNaM saÜpM AsatMÊ pNa maaJaI Ka~I AahoÊ AaplyaahI nakLt Aaplyaa manaat jaÜDIdar ksaa idsaavaa (acaM ek ica~ AsatM. ‘ksalaMhI ica~ roKaTlaM naahI’ AsaM mhNaNaaáyaaMcyaa manaatlaI kÜNaacaItrI p`itmaa naMtr tDktanaa maI AgadI first hand paihlaI Aaho.

AsaÜ. to jaa] do. maI Aa<aa arch cao maUL pÜsT punha vaacalaMÊ Ana malaa vaaTlaM maaJaM AaiQacaM Ana Aa<aacaM pÜsT jara vaogaL\yaa idXaonao jaatMya. ³vaacalaolyaavar XaaMtpNao ivacaar na kolyaacaa pirNaama´

Nirakar
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 7:35 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

I think I am with Beti and Arch.
Mukund: Mala vatate Arch ani Beti la bhartat lya mullan apali bayko aaplyapeksha jast var aahe (status ni) he avdel ka ha aahe. Sadhya tari kahi exception vagalata hyache uttar NAHI asech aahe.
Mi mazya ajubajula ghari kam karnarya mula baddal baki mule tingal karttana bagitale aahe, He chuk ki barobar hyacha viacha ethe apan karu naye, fact remains ki ata bhartat aahe te ase aahe.
Arch chya prasnache uttar mazya mate tari ajun apan hi sthit accept karu shakat nahi. Vayaktik ritya karu pan samjik I doubt.

Maze post he generik aahe, hyat maze vichar, anubhav nasun samajache observation aahe.
Anakhi ek mhanaje barech vela mala Maaybolikar je lihitat te fakt Pune, Mumbai kinva etar metro city lach lagu hote.



Nirakar
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 7:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Maza anubhav:
Mazya barobar Telco madhe ek GT join zala hota, tyache lagna collegae madhech zale hote, ha manus Hariyanatla Jat aahe. Tyacha main problem hota ki tyachi bayko punyat alo aahe tar shikayache mhanat hot ani tyala te avdat navate !

2. Mazya javachya olakhit suddha barch lok ase aahet ki jyanna bayko ne job kelela avdat nahi, tyachi karane te Mukund ni sangitalya pramanech detat, pan mala he lok bryach varsha pasun mahit aahe ani khare karan mhanjech hya BB cha vishay aahe.

Varil udharane hi khari aahet

Asami
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 8:17 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

swati mala vatate Archchya prashnachya contextmadhe tu dileli uttare javaljaval 100% barobar tharavit.
tuJyaa post caa gaÜYavaara Gyaayacaa tr Asaa Gaota yao[la.
1. BaartamaQao Eama p`itYza ha p`kar Ôarsaa p`calaIt naaih. Blue collar job, white collar jobs AXaI gaTvaarI AapÜAap hÜt Asato. US maQaohI tI Aist%vaat AsalaI trI vya>I svaatM~\yaacyaa klpnaopUZo tI htbala zrto.
2. BaartamaQao vya>IsvaatM~\yaapoxaa kuTumbavyavasqaolaa AiQak mah%va idlao jaato. %yaamaULo GarcaoÊ samaaja kaya mhNaola (a gaÜYTIMcaa pgaDa inaNa-yaaMvar AiQak AsatÜ.
3. kahI maÜjako Apvaad saÜDlao tr AjaUnahI laÜkaMcaI manaÜvaR<aI baáyaapOkI parMparIkca Aaho. Aaplyaa jaÜiDdaracyaa klpnaaMivaYayaI ivacaar krtanaa jyaa gaÜYTI AQyaaáhut Qarlyaa jaatat %yaaMcaI inavaD ih bahutaMXaI izkaNaI saarKIca Asato.
4. varIla 3 karNaaMcaa prIpÜYa mhNaUna profession, education, income (a baabatIMmaQao Aaplyaapoxaa varcaZ Asalaolaa maulagaa XaÜQaNao (akDo maUlaIMcaa tr (a]laT maUlaaMcaa AÜZa AsatÜ.

Storvi
Friday, June 20, 2003 - 9:03 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

nirakar, beti, asami, arch yanna maze anumodan ...


Nrn
Sunday, June 22, 2003 - 8:18 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

hi folks,
mala beti ne sangitlela ek mudda khoop mahatvacha vatato.aplya kade ajunahikoni avad mhanun truck driver kiva train driver kiva konatahi manual work karanare nastat.te paristhiti mule kiva pidyanpida to vyavasay mhanunach chalu hoto.kti vela apun lahan mul "me pilot honar mhatlyavar wah wah mhanto " pan tech jar ka to mhanala ki "me constructor worker honar kiva train driver honar " tar apun " to lahan aahey,kahi kalat nahi asa mhanato.do we see people encouraging the child saying "arre wah changla aahey tula construction worker whyayacha aahey,mehanati aahes tu etc etc...".obviously lahan pana pasunach apun manual labour he neech darjacha(social status wise) asa samaj karun basato.so jeva he bandhana door hotil(which is very difficult taking into consideration the huge differences in our socio-economic stratas in indian society) tevha asha lagnanver kahi akshep ghetle jannar nahit.ajun paryanta aplya kade uchha nokari is equivalent to higher social status.

ajunnahi ek mala vatata ki lahan pana pasun aplya kade "aim higher" he manavar binbavala jata.maybe this can also be one of the reason y girls try to get husband who is "higher" than he in all respects.i think it is something similiar to "honari baiko kitihi shikaleli asali tari ti mainly sundar ani gharkamat vyavasthit asavi " asa barich mula lagna tharavtana vichar kartat.so it again boils down to how we think and how we think is many times dictated by the socio-economic equality.

as far as objections to "baiko navrya peksha jasta kamavne" goes i think it is entirely due to our patriachal mentality(purushpradhan sanskruti).for that to subside only education for girls(not only in metros or bigger towns) pan sarsakat saglya mulinsathi higher education oppurtunities can be one of the solutions.halli towns kiva metro madhe nahi ka chitra badalat aahey.atleast atta apan hya gosti var charcha tari karto(which is one sign of changing times)pan adhi(say 10-20 years back) hya gosti cha ulehkahi karna would have been unthinkable or atleast a black mark for the family.

Nirakar
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 8:10 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

"Not a failure but low aim is a crime" ase Pu La chya pustakat vachlyache athavale :-)

Storvi
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 9:17 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

It is one thing to aim higher, height ofcourse is relative...depending on capability, likes dislikes, job satisfaction, compensation etc. but the problem is that in our society, it is not so relative, it's defined by compensation, and intelect(apparently) .. hence the question "why is it so..."

Shrini
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 10:06 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

maaJyaa DÜ@yaat Aalaolaa ek ivacaar :

saamaanyatÁ baayakÜ Aaplyaa navaáyaacyaa kt-bagaarIt AanaMd maanaU Xakto. navaáyaacyaa AayauYyaat tI ‘svatÁ’ cao saMpUNa- samap-Na krto AaiNa %yaamauLo navaáyaacao ktR-%va tI svatÁcao mhNaUna sahja svaIka$ Xakto.

pNa yaa]laT GaDNao KUp kzINa AsatoÊ karNa bahuda puÉYaI AhMkar.
³saMdBa- : ‘AiBamaana’ ha ica~pT´

kdaicat mhNaUnaca jaaNa%yaa AaiNa AnauBavaI vya>IMnaI ha payaMDa paDlaa Asaavaa²

Storvi
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 10:34 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

>> kdaicat mhNaUnaca jaaNa%yaa AaiNa AnauBavaI vya>IMnaI ha payaMDa paDlaa Asaavaa²
>>

ka bahuda puÉYaI AhMkaramauLo tsaa payaMDa pDlaa AsaavaaÆ



Shrini
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 10:38 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Storvi,
‘AiBamaana’ saarKI p`%yaok saMsaaracaI gat hÜ] nayao mhNaUna * jaaNa%yaa * AaiNa * AnauBavaI * ³AhMkarI navho´ vya>IMnaI ha payaMDa paDlaa AsaavaaÊ Asao malaa mhNaayacao hÜto.

Storvi
Monday, June 23, 2003 - 11:13 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

Shrini I know what you meant... but I think you are making it sound rather altruistic, and not to mention orchestrated... I think social norms have a way of forming themselves, and I am rather reluctant accept that a few good men(/women) set them up. Yes what certain dignitaries do/say does have an impact on the society, but i doubt that they engineer society's norms. Very few people really know what kind of power they weild over a people.

Arch
Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 1:42 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

EaIinaÊ baayaka matured AaiNa samajaUtdar Asatat AaiNa puÉYa (a ]laT Asatat ho maanya krayaca Aaho ka tulaaÆ

Beti
Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 1:50 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

hmm.. puÉYaaMcaa mindset badlaNaro irvaaja paDNyaapoxaa ho krNao %yaa jaaNa%yaa AaiNa AnauBavaI ³AhMkarI navho´ laÜkaMnaa saÜpo gaolao AsaNaar.. AaiNa yaa jaaNa%yaa laÜkaMt baayakaMcaM sqaana Ô> AnauyaayaaMcaM AsaNaar.. caalaayacaMca .... Ajaapu~M bailaM dVat.... :-)

Mukund
Tuesday, June 24, 2003 - 3:02 am:   Edit Post Delete Post Print Post  Link to this message

I would like to know what kind of customs women want to change the mindset of men?while answering that please also answer following questions honestly and realistically(not ideal answer for the sake of showing "I AM FOR EQUALITY")
1: All women-- ask yourself first- would you reaaly like to marry a man(or married a man) who doesnt earn any money and who want to stay home taking care of household works,infant care,child care etc etc while YOU go out and work 10 hrs a day outside as a sole breadwinner.(all your life!)
2: If you said yes to first question then will you be(or r u) happy emotionally,mentally and physicaly in such a role?(again I would like to know what YOU think ,not ideally what should be!)
3: Will you be happy with the way your stay home husband(house dad)takes care of household and infants and kids?will you be mentally anguished over his household abilities and loss of joy to spend time with your infant and kids?.
4: If you said yes to question number 3 then will that anguish and frustration chip away any respect you have for your husband and romantic and sexual attraction and eventually the whole relationship?
Has any women reading this interesting topic done such a thing-- marring a stay home guy?If not would they like their husband to quit his job and stay home instead of keeping kids at day care?
If we can get these answers then I think we all automatically get the answer to the FIRST AND BASIC question of this bb raised by Arch!
About the issue of in India there is no value for SHRAMAJIVI work--- shramajivi work in India means ghargadi,mathadi workers,jenators etc etc---the reason for that, those works dont need any education and we all believe that education makes(at leasr supposed to!) people more cultured and suitable to make more money,more money you make more comfortable you can live your life and in general its a basic tendancy of a human being---be it a woman or a be it a man-to have a comfortable life and hence women want to a marry a man who makes good money and more educated.And that holds true even today with educated women--otherwise you would see such educated women marring a guy who makes less money like a jenator or mathadi worker.But you dont see that and I doubt you will see that happening in near future.


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पांढर्‍यावरचे काळे
गावातल्या गावात
तंत्रलेल्या मंत्रबनात
आरोह अवरोह
शुभंकरोती कल्याणम्
विखुरलेले मोती








 
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