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Lets hear from all of you..
I am going through a 'visit' period, from my in-laws. This visit is 9 months long...and no, I have not just had a baby, my babies are 16 years and 12 years old! This visit is solely for visiting purposes.
I have a lot more to add, but I just want to set the ball rolling here......
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outlaws are "wanted"
In Laws are "unwanted"
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LOL Manya. Swatid jara detail maQao pÜsTIga kra
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Hmm details.. thats dangerous territory. But here goes
My in-laws are totally non- technology oriented.
stove pasun shower paryant, kahihi vaparta yet nahi (asa claim kartaat). Ata India la blender nahit ka??????
My kids are 16 and 12, one is in High school, the other in Grade 7. Both have their own worlds, and are busy throughout the day. They both try to make time for their grandparents, but somehow its never enough.
I work as a support analyst and am on call 24/7. I have had nights when I have had to drive back to the office to handle problems. But I am expected to be up and make tea etc on time. This does not happen its just us, my hubby has learnt to make his own tea (atleast), but he expects me to do it for his parents.Guys, why ??????
This is a story with no end. I really get along fine with my in-laws. I honestly wanted them to come and visit us. I think they should get to spend time with their son and grandkids, I dont grudge them that, but I do not like the intrusion and upsets in the house.
If any ofyou were to go to a new place would you not expect to make certain adjustments? Thats just what I expect... quite honestly I cannot remember when Ekadashi is.... that too the regular monthly ones! Yikes I cannot remember what day of the week it is sometimes. I cannot change my cooking habits back to what they were 15 years ago. Am I going off the deep end here?
............
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Good discussion's been started here. I remember that there was a similar (heated!) discussion previously, which may be archived. My candid 2 cents...(I'm lot younger than you, but still couldn't resist to post.)
First of all, I would like to ask you, would your views have been strong like they are, if visitors were your parents and not in-laws? If yes, then lots of arguments like bias etc., seen in those previous BBs are not valid here. If not then, well, ...!
I strongly feel that your spouse can/should relieve your load as and when he can. And so can your kids, who at these age in this country are supposed to be grown ups.(heard that they move out at 18!) You can teach them to help out their grandparents, if they do need physical help. Similary, if your in-laws are physically capable, slowly, but cleverly teach them how these techno gadgets work, they'll love to use those! You only GAIN, if each of this happens.
Finally, buy a Kalnirnay! There is nothing wrong in being on-call for couple of months, to one's parents(or in-laws, who I think are another parents), even if you don't get $$ for that. They were on-call for us(or for our spouses for that matter), all these years, that's why we are whatever are... Else, don't know where we all would've been. Certainly not here, and certainly not on-call!
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Swati : mazyakade ek calander chi exe file aahe. havi aslyas kalav.. email ne pathvin.
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I doubt if swati is interested in hearing about using a kalnirnay.exe or even how to handle her in-laws! (correct me if I am wrong) I guess she knows all that and would rather benefit from other people's experiences. barobar ki chuk, swatid?
For what its worth, as someone who is also being visited by her in-law, I can definitely relate to your experiences. And I have experienced the same kind of frustrations that you have! But I do think it would help if you tried to understand that our in-laws or parents are in a completely new world when they visit us in a new country. And it doesn't help that most of the time they are awe-struck with the fast western world! At their age, you have to give them a little leaway because they are too scared and not confident enough to handle even a blender for fear of breaking/mishandling it. The advice is easy to give, but of course when it comes to taking it for oneself, its a whole different ball game altogether! :-)
As for getting them to realize that our livestyles change in a new place, it doesn't always work. Cause I think its difficult for a person who's visiting us for a short time, to understand that we cannot adhere to the same kind of swayapak, upaas, work environment which we follow back home! Hopefully that changes with time, when our near and dear ones visit us more often and they also get adjusted to our kind of life!!
* just my paavli's worth of opinions *
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There is nothing wrong in being on-call for couple of months, to one's parents(or in-laws, who I think are another parents), <<
what does that mean? leave the job? is it that easy to give up the job for few months? i mean adjustments are inevitable but thats not what Swati is complaining abt. she is not complaining abt anything i guess, she is just trying to talk it out.
Swati I can not tell you much since i dont have any experience in this matter but very soon my life with them is gonna start and sometimes I get shievers while thinking abt it..
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svaaitÊ I can understand your position pNa tU tuJyaa saasaUbaanaa cooking range vaaprayalaa iXakva mhNajao %yaa AaplaI AaplaI kama krtIla AaiNa tulaahI madt k$ XaktIla. AaiNa ekda %yaaMnaa qaÜDI kamaacaI savaya laagalaI kI kMTaLapNa yaoNaar naahI. puYakLda kMTaLa AalyaamauLo [tr gaÜYTIt intrusion kola jaat Asaola. marazI pustkÊ maaisak AaNaUna do maO~INaIkdUna. malaa vaaTt jara caaMgalaa vaoL jaayalaa laagalaa kI maaNaUsa AapsaUk jara navaIna iXakayalaa ]lhsaIt hÜtÜ.
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ektar swatine tila nakki problem ahe ki nahi tech snagitle nahiye. ti gayab zali ahe. apan ugach tark karun tichya mhananyacha artha lavnyat kaay point ahe?
>>but I do not like the intrusion and upsets in the house.
swati, mazya mate, jasa tula tuzya routine madhe/ gharachya rachanemadhe etc, kahi badal avadat nahiye, tasach parents na pan avadat nasnarach na? ani tyancha vay lakshat gheta, ata tyanna tyanchya khanya pinyachya savai etc, badalne kiti avaghad ahe he tula kalat aselach.
jenva tu tyanna ithe bolavles, tenvach compromise, upsets honar he lakshaat ghetle asashil. facta te upsets zalyavar tyane na vaitagne he jamayla pahije.
parents alet ani tari ghartli sagalich mandali jar stat busy astil, tar tyanna kantala yeto ani mag tyanchya ithe rahanyala kahi arthahi urat nahi. arch, tuza mhanaje patale ya babtit.
tyanna navin gadgets vaparnyachich bhiti vatate mhanun te try karat nahit. apanach tyanna halu halu shikvaayla pahije. it will take some time. not all of a sudden. pan tyasathi tula vel kadhava lagel tyanchya barobar...:):)
>>what does that mean? leave the job?
abhijitchya mhananyacha asa artha mulich nahiye. tumhi jasa on call ha prakaar job sathi asla ki atishay kasoshine palata, tya goshtikade tya tya veli agadi ratri beratri, laksha deun, ti goshta paar padata, tya prakaarcha attention tumhi parents na nakki kaay pahije comfortable honyasathi, ya kade dila pahije. of course yaat sudhhda, 24/7 asa attahas mulich nahiye. pan kahi divas, parents gharaat rulun gharaatlech ek ya ritine vagaayla lageparyant, tumhala he karaayla pahije. tyatach sakalcha chaha tyanna karun dene ani tya nimittane tyanchyashi kahi bolachal, uthbas hone yete..:)
arthat, navryane sarvatopari madat keli pahije he nakkich ahe. tyala jemtem chaha karata yeto hi goshta ajibaat abhimanaspad nahi, navryalahi ani baykolahi.
mi mavasbahinikade 4 divas rahilo hoto tenva tyatle 3 divas te pahatech uthun office la palalele asayche. ani sandhyakali ale ki kids (2)
kade laksha deun faar kami vel milaaycha amhala kahi gappa marayla. hardly ardhaa taas, jevan zalyavar. malach tithe kantaalvane vatale, gharaatli sagali gadgets (tv vcr dvd music system pc) vaparta yet asunahi. mag parents che kaay hot asel?
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Savya: agadi barobaar bolallas.....ethe (US madhey) bahutek families madhey hyach goshti bahutaushi baghaylaa miltaat....
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I think its a matter of "people skills". Professional life madhe manager mhanun succesful honyasathi jashi hya skills chi garaj aahe tashich ti day to day personal relations madhe sudhha aahe. Zakki mhantat tya pramane long term ani short term strategy asne jaroori aahe.
Ajukka, tu ghabru nakos. Tuzya sasu sasryana maaybolivar ek round marayala laav aaNI tuze postings avarjun vachayala laav. I dont think they will have any problems with you in their lives :) (kidding)
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varil mudde barobar ahet. pan khalil situationcha vichar kara
mulachya aai vadilana swatach amerikela yayache asate. kahijan asha mindsetnech yetat ki, ata sagal sunekadun karun ghyayacha. tyamule gadgets waparayala shikavali tari pan "nako amhala bhiti watte" ase mhanun palwat kadhanare asatat. thodkyat tyana, "sagala aplyala hatatach ani basalya jagi milayala hawa, ani to apala adhikar ahe" ashi apeksha asate.
eravi sun apalya barobar nasate, tyamule ata sagala tilach karude, ashi poorvakalpana dharun alelya sasu sasaryana sambhalun ghyayala sun kitihi samjutdar asali tari tila tras hotoch.
tumhi jar wachal tar swatinech lihila ahe ki, "kahihi waparata yet nahi ase claim kartat!".
ani apan evadhye sudnya nakkich asato he kalnyaitake, ki sagale shikavunhi yana kharach kahich vaparata yet nahi, ki te kahi karayala nako mhanun ase sangat ahet.
jar asha khotya mothepanachya apeksha na thevata jar aai vadil rahile tar te sarvanach soiche padate. kamit kami tyani ghratalya goshtinsathi swavalambi rahave ashi apeksha karane chukiche ahe ka (e.g. swatacha chaha karun ghene)? swatine lihilyapramane ti ekhadya ratri ghari ushira ali, tar dusarya divashi sakalcha chaha tinech uthun kela pahije ashi apeksha ka thevali jate?
dusari durdaiwi gosht mhanaje barech navare suddha baykokadun hich apeksha kartat, ki tine itar sagalya goshtinbarobar aii vadilachya sarv apeksha purwalya pahijet. hi apeksha fakt bayakokadun thevanya aivaji jar navaryanehi tyala hatbahar lavla, tar goshti sahaj hotat.
anyway, ya vishayanvar ithe ya agodarhi barich discussions zali ahet. mala evadhech mhanyaache ahe, ki sasu sasryacha, aai wadilancha karayala bahuntashi sun jawayana anand ani sukhach asata. pan he sagala suralit honyasathi sasu sasaryani, apan ithe sunechi/jawayachi pariksha ghyayala alo ahot, ha mindset badalala tar yogya hoil.
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mala pan Arch che mhanae patale. Amachyakade madhe mazya navryachya natyatle olakheeche rahayala aale hote. Te aale hote orlando baghyala teva amachya kadech utaarale hote tyatun te weekdays la aale hote.
Jar pahunyana khush karayche asel tar (hya babteet agdee sasarchyana pan he apply hote) te mhanje tumhee tyanchyashee vel dene. Ani jamle tar tyanchya avadeeche padarth karane. Ata hyaat koni mhanel this is old style etc etc. pan mala swatahala pan aalela anubhav kee tyatun dusryana samdhaan vatate plus aplyala pan anand milto kee tyanchya sathee apan kahee taree kele. Te pahune aale astana mee dar diwashee sakalee agdee nitya niyamane breakfast kela, ratreeche jevan matra 2 vela gharee ani 2 vela baaher kele. Shevatee tar tya bainich mala chole karnyaat madat kelee. Ani jeva vel milala teva ratree zopyadhee etc changlya gappa marlya tyanchyashee. mazya navryane pan tyanchyasathhee changla vel dila. Ani te jeva parat gele teva sangayachee gosht mhanje mazya sasree ani aai kade pan amche koutukach kele.
arthaat in laws nee pan adjustment chee tayaree thevayala haveech, pan apanahee aplyala jevadhe jamel tevadhe karave. atleast apalyala swatahala taree ase vatale nahee pahije kee aplyala shakya hote pan apan kuthe kamee padalo.
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rangy, dusryala tras hoil asach vagaycha jar tharavla asel tar mag tyavar kahich charcha karanyat artha nahi. tuzya posting nusar, jar sasu sasryanche mideset tasa asel ki sunekadunnach karun gheu, kinva sun javayache ase mindset asel ki kase tikataat 6 mahine ithe tech pahato, tar bolnech khuntle.
>>mulachya aai vadilana swatach amerikela yayache asate.
ka vatu naye?
doghanna ekmekanbarobar rahnyache sukh pahije ahe ani tashi pramanik ichcha ahe. tyat dusryala chhaluya asa uddesh nahiye. asa aapan dharuya. mag honare problems ani tyavaril upay yavar charcha karuya. tasa nasel tar charchach sampli. mag facta bhandabhandi..:):)
ani tya claim baddal.
tyanna kharach electric, electronic vastu vaapraayla bhiti vatate. shikavle tari sudhdha. tyamage ajun ek bhiti aste ki aapli kahi chuk zali tar apalyala dosh detil itki mahag goshta bighdavlyabaddal. yachchayavat sagalya electrical electronic goshti tyanna mahag vatatat. mag to facta 50 $ cha walkman ka asena. ani mhanun te shikavlyavar sudhdha vaapraayla dhajaavat nahit. apan tyanchi hi bhiti kadhun takali pahije. again time consuming.
mi mazya aaila, tila gani faar avadtat mhanun music system on karane, casette takne ani volume control evadhya tinach goshti shikavlya hotya. tarihi tine swatahun kadhi system vaparli nahi. u have to understand their mindset, which is formed after so many years of living in different world.
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svaaitÊ qaÜD saaMgaU kaÆ KalaIla gaÜYTI k$na baGa
1. ra~I ek BaajaI dusaáyaa idvasaasaazI lunch laa k$na zovaayacaI AaiNa saaMgaayaca AaÊ tumhalaa ~asa nakÜ mhNaUna k$na zovalaI Aaho garma krayalaa laagaola Ô>. AaiNa microwave ksaa vaaprayacaa to daKvaUna zova. maga hLU hLU %yaaMnaa microwave maQyao cahapNa krta yaola. saasaáyaaMnaapNa da#vaUna zova
2. tUpNa %yaaMnaa AaplaopNaanao saaMga kI KUp kamaamauLo dmalyaasaarK hÜt Aaja tumhI AmaUk ek krta kaÆ tuJyaa navaáyaalaa %yaaMcyaa hatca AavaDt. kuzlaIhI Aa AgadI t%prtonao krayalaa tyaar hÜla Aaplyaa laokasaazI
3. Aa Aaja maaJyaa maOi~NaI yaoNaar Aahot tumhI tI tumacaI Kasa recipe krta kaÆ maI tumhalaa madt krto
4. weekend laa Kasa %yaaMcyaasaazI plans kr. baahor nyaayacaaÊ %yaaMcyaa AavaDIcao pdaqa- krayacao vagaOro.
maI tulaa sallao dot naahI pNa %yaaMcyaa svayaMpakaca kÝtuk kolasa kI %yaa baGa tulaa madt krtat kI naahI. AaiNa tuJyaa saasaUbaanaa tulaa recipe VayacaI nasaola tr tU nasatanaaca k$na zovatIla baGa ;0)
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Tumha sagLyanche postings vachle. Ithe parat male/fmale view points kiti differ kartaat bagha, mala KaalniNay naka pathva majhyakade ahe.
Mumbai la amchya ghari, tv/vcr pasun food processor/washing machine, cooking range paryant sagla ahe. Tithe sagla vaparla jata.
Bara maza point asa ahe, ki jar ka tyanchi visit lahan asti, mhanje 1-2 months tar mi nakki maza life adjust kela asta, sutti adjust keli asti, I would have made sure they were here during summer holidays when the girls are at home. mhanje boredom vagaire zala nasta. But their visit is for 9 whole months, for now. This is too long a time ot treat them as guests. They have to assimilate into the mainstream of the household.
Office madhe I can adjust my job for a few weeks, pun canada madhe, maza sasu saasre aley ahet tar mala time off havay, kinva I cannot be on call , he sangta yeil ka? over a period of 9 months? no way. mala ghari rahave lagel, nokri sodun. hyacha arth kay tey tumchya sarkhya sudnya lokanna me sangayla nako.
Me he postin kashasathi kele, not for any solutions to my problem, I know I have to live with this. But as a eye-opener to any who wish to take it that way. This will apply to both your parents and your in-laws. read the heading...Tyacha aNi Tiche.
Asa mi muLich mhaNat nahi ki navryache aai-vadil ahet mhanun me complain kartey. Udya samja maze aai-vadil aley aNi ashi situation ali tar, again its a problem.
This is the first visit by any in-laws, so I am new to this problem. Mulga US/canada la settle zala mhanje majority aai-vadilana asa feeling yeta ki zala, jinklo. Sunekadun american pahunchar karun gheuya. Ithe aaplyajaval nasto mulga, tithe jaun we will enjoy his company, and thats what they come here to do, enjoy the son's company, who is bothered about his wife?
This issue can crop up even for the wife's parents. Amchi mulgi itkya laamb rahate, varsha varsha bhetat nahi, ata agadi tila kiti bhetu ani kiti nako. Both extremes are not good.
Maybe it is time for parents back in India to rethink, in addition to our adjustments. This is going to be a problem as long as there are people coming out of India to settle abroad. Itla life vegLa asta, people have to change, anyone who says no is a hypocrite. Your whole outlook changes, more so when you have kids who are part of the system. It hits you at the workplace, NOT when you are a student, so all you students out there, wait your turn.
Now come out and let me know what you feel.
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arch tuze varache point agdee lakshaat thevnyasarkhe aahet!!
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Mulga US/canada la settle zala mhanje majority aai-vadilana asa feeling yeta ki zala, jinklo. Sunekadun american pahunchar karun gheuya. Ithe aaplyajaval nasto mulga, tithe jaun we will enjoy his company, and thats what they come here to do, enjoy the son's company, who is bothered about his wife? >>>
Swati...
sakhed aashcharya vaatle he vachun. Tumhala kharach ase vaatate ka ki parents na ase karnyaat interest asato ? Ase muddam konich karat nahi. (jar karat asatil tar you are dealing with a different kind of problem, hach problem tumhi bhartaat rahat asataat tari yeu shakla asata)
Pan bahutekanche paalak he madhyamvargatun aalele, Non-techno asataat. Tyana kharokharach ithalya life style shi juLavun ghene avaghad jaate. Aani tumche varil postings mi nit vachle. Tyaat tumhi nehemi "Tyani nako ka adjustment karayla ???" asech mhantle aahe. Kuthehi tumhi mi adjustment kelya ase mhantlele nahi. (Arthaat tumhi kelyaach nastil ase mala ajibaat mhanayche nahi) pan tyana adjustment karne he tumchya itakech (kinwa jast) kathin jaanar aahe he lakshaat ghya.
Tumhala 'In-laws barach kaaL rahayla yene' ha 'problem' vaatatoy hyaatach sarva kahi aale. Sarvaat pratham ha attitude badlaayachi garaj ahe. Parents (mag te aaple kinwa spouse che) aaplyajavaLach kaayam rahanar asech pratyekane gruhit dharun chaalale pahije. Aani tumhi jar var dilelya vividh upayukta suchana amalaat aanalyaat tar tumhala vaatato titka gambhir ha prashna rahanaar nahi.
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>>mulachya aai vadilana swatach amerikela yayache asate.
ka vatu naye?
savyasachi, majhe yabatit dumat ajjibat nahi. jarur yave, mulanahi tevadhech watate. mi he vakya evadhyasathi lihila hota karan var konitari mhanalele ki, "tyanchi ichha nasatana apan tyana bolavato, tyancha wel jat nasala tari". he kayam asech nasate he evadhech mala nidarshanas anun dyayche hote.
>>doghanna ekmekanbarobar rahnyache sukh pahije ahe ani tashi pramanik ichcha ahe. tyat dusryala chhaluya asa uddesh nahiye. asa aapan dharuya.
well, mi swatichya udaharnababt bolat hote. ani tya casemadhye he "dharun" chalata yet nahi, he spashta hote. evadhyasathich mi ti situation spashta keli! dusare mhanaje jevha sagale swatila suggestions dyayla lagale, tevha mi confuse zale. karan apalyakadun suggestions ghenyasathi swatine ha vishay suru kelay ase mala watat nahi. tichya case madhye kay karayala hawe he tila purna mahit ahe, ashi mazi kalpana ahe. fakt asha situations tumhi lokanihi samjun ghaywyat yach apekshene mi te lihile :-). swatine var lihile ahe, ki bharatamadhye hi sagali gadgets sahajpane waparli jatat. tyamule tya claimbabtat kay "conclusion' kadhave he spashtach ahe.
>>>u have to understand their mindset, which is formed after so many years of living in different world
of course, we do understand the mindset, as we know them for so many years. mhanunach jevha kahi goshti janun bujun kelya jatat tyacha khed watato.
>>Aani tumhi jar var dilelya vividh upayukta suchana amalaat aanalyaat tar tumhala vaatato titka gambhir ha prashna rahanaar nahi.
well, I think this is too general of a statement. varil sarva suchana vaparunahi jar pharak padet nasel, tar sasu saryakadun adjutstmentchi apeksha karana chukiche ahe ka?
swati, tu je lihile ahes ki tyani routine household flowmadhye assimilate vhayala have,I completely agree. asawarine lihilyapramane ghari alelya pahunyansathi apan extra mile jato roj sakali uthun breakfast vagaire karto, don welacha jevan karun mag officela jato, ratrei damalo aslo tari gappa marto, tyana phirvato. pan hyach goshti tumhi roj uthun varhsbhar karu shakal ka?
Vaatsaru, yat in-lawsni jast diwas rahayala yave ki nahi ha point nasun, tyani "pahunyansarkhe na rahata", "gharachya mansanpramane rahave" evadhi apeksha asate.
majhe aai vadil, sasubai sarv yeun gele ahet ikade, ani tyana ikade adjust vhayala kahich problem zala nahi. shivay tyana ikade vel kasa ghalwawa, ya peksha wel kasa kadhava hach prashna watat ase. ghratali gadets waparane tar pharach sopi gosht zali, maze wadil tar roj sakli swechhene uthun taji bhaji, ani athavadyatun don wela chinese store madhun fish vagaire anat asat. amachya gadyanvar awalambun na rahata tyani jawalpasche sarv bus routeschi mahiti kadhali, ani te purna mobile hote. busne libraryla jane, itar samavayask lokanchya ghari gappana jane, he sagele te karat asat. arthat jevha shakya ase, amhi tyana drop karat asu, ani tyacha purna prayatnahi karat asu. pan te tyababtit amachyavar awalamub nakki navhate.
amachi tar personally ashi ichha ahe ki tyani sarvani amachyakadech rahave. ani sudaiwane tyana pan ithe rahayala awadate. so everything has worked out well. te sarv ata ya varshich parat yenar ahet, varshabhar ani ekatra rahayala!
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svaaitÊ maI tulaa saucanaa mhNaUna saaMigatla naahI. malaa vaaTla kI maaJao AnauBava tulaa }pyaÜgaI hÜtIla mhNaUna ilaihlao. maaJao saasaUsaasaro dr dÜna vaYaanaI 56 maihnao [qao yaotat AaiNa %yaaMnaa kMTaLa yaovaU nayao mhNaUna AaiNa %yaaMcao [qao rhaNao %yaaMnaa AanaMdacao jaavao mhNaUna jyaa kahI gaÜYTI maI kTa@Xaanao krto to ilaihla. malaahI dÜna maula Aahot. maIhI full time kama krto AaiNa maaJao saasaUsaasaro dÜGahI professional AsaUna retired Aahot
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Rangy, I agree totally kee jeva in laws kinva itar konihee long term sathee rahayala yetaat teva tyanee pahune banun na rahata kahee diwasanee adjust zaalya vartee gharatla ek bhaag banun rahave.
Pardeshaat alyavar adjust vayala kahee kaal dene avashyaka aahe ani teva tyana apan ithe kuthe aalo ase vatu naye mhanun jyast vel dyayala havach. mag ekada te ithe rulale kee kahee prashnach nahee. Ani mag daily routine madhye sasu sasryachee madat hone nakeech shakya aahe.
ani shevatee jya chotya goshtee e.g. sakalcha chaha karun dene shakya aahe teva karayala kaay harkat aahe. arhtaat hyala kwachit exception asuhee shakel. tumhee gharee damun alyavar mag sasu nakee chaha banvun deil :) Ani jar sasu sasre khup vayaskar asteel ani tyanchya kadun hot nasel taree pan mala madat vayala pahije asa attahaas asunahee chalanaar nahee.
maze sasu sasre aai vadeel atta atcive aahet pan ani daha varshanee hee sthitee naselahee. teva navryachya madateene gharteel kaame malacha karayala haveet.
Shevatee vel denech mahatvache aahe. Ani ekhade sasu sasre swataha active asunachee keval sune ne sarva kaame karavee ase vagat asteel tar tehee saaf chuk aahe, mag gharaat bhandabhandee na zaalee tarach naval.
he discussion keval jar mulana hya babteet kaay vatate he samjun ghayache aahe tar mala vatate swatine tase spashtapane lihile asetch kee. pan ekun ticha posting vachun mala suggestions dyavishi vatalee. Aso.
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>>sakalcha chaha karun dene shakya aahe teva karayala kaay harkat aahe
roj sakalacha chaha karnyababtit kuni problem vyakta kelay ase watat nahi.
mala watate, ajachya jamanyatalya baryachashya mulina varil sarva goshti/suggestions kaltat. mala watat nahi ki, sasu sasre jar vayaskar astil, tar tyanchyakadun hya apeksha thevalya jatil. to purna wegala charchecha vishay ahe, mala watate "aaivadilanchi dekhbhal" ya bb var tyachi charcha zali ahe.
Swatine var lihilech ahe "Me he postin kashasathi kele, not for any solutions to my problem, I know I have to live with this. But as a eye-opener to any who wish to take it that way. This will apply to both your parents and your in-laws. read the heading...Tyacha aNi Tiche. "
jevha hi frustrations vyakta keli jatat, tevha mala watate ki yatli barechi suggestions already amalat analeli asatat. What is really frustarting is when you try your best, go out of your way, and still your in-laws are not satisfied!
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>>...What is really frustarting is when you try your best, go out of your way, and still your in-laws are not satisfied!
ya, pan mag te tumche durdaiv ahe..tya babtit ithe charcha karnyat kahich point nahi asa mala vatata.
han, nivval gappa ani tyatun milnare santwan evadha sadhya hou shakta.
sagla jar tumhala mahitach ahe tar mag bolayche tari kaay? :):)
>>ajachya jamanyatalya baryachashya mulina varil sarva goshti/suggestions kaltat
true..pan te purvichya jamanyatlya mulinna/mulanna kalatach navate ase thodech ahe..
pan, kalta pan valat nahi, hehi khup lokanchya babtit pratyaksha astach na..nahitar ti mhan ugach ali nasti.
aso. sasu sasre ani suna, he vaad shatakanushatke hot ale ahet. tyavar hamkhas upay attaparyant konalach sapadlela nahi. except living seperate and never meeting.
swati mhante mhanun tichi baju aplyala kalali. tichya in-laws na pan kahitari baju aselach na ? te mhanat astil, evdha kaam karte ratri apratri jaun, roj officela na chukta jate, pan amchyasathi matra roj chaha karayla hila vel kadhvat nahi...:):) 9 mahinech tar alo ahot, kayamche thodech rahanar ahot.
this is just eg. swatila uddeshun kahihi nahi.
chala, ugachach maza posting lambla..
sarkha chaha chaha lihun chaha ani khari chi talmal vadhli ahe. tenva ghari jato..:)
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ektar he problem majhe swatache nahit, ani ithe gappa marayala kinva santwan milawayala konihi lihit ahe ase mala watat nahi. ani "te kewal tumache durdaiv ahe" ase mhanun charcheyogya mudde talata yet nahit! udya jar koni mhaanle ki wait sun jawai milale "he tumache durdaiva ahe", mag tumachya mhanyapramane tyanche "Santwan" karun sodun dyayache ka?
jar ithe constructive charcha whayala ahavi asel, tar donhi bajuni suggestions lihayala havit ani tyavar charcha whayala pahije. jagat durdaivi mule ahet ani durdaivi aai wadilhi ahet. kahi thikani mulanche chukate tar kahi thikani aai vadilanchehi! ya vastusthitikade kanadola karnyatun kay sadhya honar ahe?
tyamule fakt mulani kay karayala have hi suggestions denya aivaji jar aai vadailanahi suggestions denyat ali, ani tyababt charcha zali tarch kahi samtolata sadhata yeil!
majhe varil sarv mudde lihinyache uddisht hech, ki ya charchanmadhye kayam mulanchich (especially sunanchi) chuki ahe ase dharla jata, ani te kuthe kami padtat yacha kathhyakut kela jato. pan tyachbarobar, kadhi aai vadilanchehi kase chukate, navryachehi kase chukate (varil udaharanat ekhadya sakali navryane uthun chaha karayala kay harkat ahe? ), ani tyasathi kay karta yeil yachihi charcha karnyaevadha dolaspana hava, evadhech!
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Rangy, malaa tuzi sarva opinions agadi patali. And I fully agree ki dosh / chuk kunaachihi kaa asenaa, pan the daughter-in-law get conveniently accused!!! He yugaanuyuge hot aale aahe, ani he asech hot rahanaar yaat kahich vaad naahi....lokaanna asech vatate, ki baghaa bichare mhatare aai-vadil, tyanna vatata mulakade rahave, pan sun patvunach ghet naahi etc etc...why ? because the "soon" is the "stronger looking" of the two parties involved, tyamule sahajikach sahanubhuti aai-vadilaankade jaate....
Hyaat ajun ek very important factor apan visarto - the sisters-in-law or "nanand"....agit tel otanyache kaam khaatrisheer rityaa kele jaate hyaa vyaktinkadun.... ani barech sasu-sasre "amchi anita (or whatever the name is) asa karte, amchi anita tasa karte, kiti vyavasthit sansaar sambhaalte" etc etc chaaluch aste. I don't say they do it on purpose, maybe maybe not, but the thing is baryaach ghari sunechi tulanaa mulishi keli jaate, and who will like that ?? Ekdaa eikun gheu , dondaa eikun gheu, rojachech jhaale tar sunelaa raag yene sahajikach nahi kaa ?:o))
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mala tar vatata jar te aadhich sangat asatil ki aamhala kahi hi vaparata yet nahi aani aamhala kahi jamnar nahi tar that means that they do not want to do it.. otherwise asa kahi hi nahi aahe ithe ki te vaparu shaknar nahi.. cooking range.. mhanaje kay aabhaLatana padala aahe ka? indiat gas cha switch chaloo karaycha tasach ithe ulat ithe kadi hi lavavi lagat nahi.. he ek udaharan zale.. mi aasa nahi mhanat ki sasu sasaryanshi asa vagava.. pan jar te tase asatil .. adjustive nasatil aani jar te tras dyayalach yenar asati ( mi ashya cases baghitalya aahet far javaLun ) tar ashyaMsadhi kahi hi karu naye..
tit for tat.. aani jar swatila jamel tevadhe tine karave aani uralele tyanche tyanni karun ghyave asel asel tarach adjustment karavi.. adjustment karaychi asel tar doghanni hi karavi ekanich ka marave? aani jar ashya koni yevun gharachi shanti 9 mahinyasathi bhighadanar aasel aani sagale jan ratrichi vat baghanar asatil chahadya sanganyasathi tar ashya lokanna aapalya sansarapasun durach thevalele bare..
itake hi jar samajutdar sasu sasare nasatil tar tyanchyashi kashala changale vagayche aapan??????
maafa kara jara bhadak vichara aahet pan this is what i think ? mazya sansarat jar koni sukh vadhayala yenar asel tar he is more than welcome pun jar koni shakuni mama sarkhe dhavadhavala karayala yenar asel tar SORRY !!!
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waah Samirm75, avadle bua tujhe jwalant vichar - purush asun ase vichar asane he jaraa navin vatale, general tendency of all the "male" postings was to accomodate and give in to the parents' wishes, whether they are right or wrong..., I agree with your standpoint....100%.
Mi pan ashyaa cases khup pahilyaa ahet ki ajustment karun, namte gheun suddha kahi upayog hot nahi, taunts basane, chuglyaa karane, emotional melodrama karane chaaluch asate....so yeah, he / she (mostly its the daughter-in-law) should stand for himself when "enough is enough"...and bindaas REVOLT !!!
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asa nahi re.. mi personally mazya sasu sasaryanshi khup changala vagato aani te hi.. basically my wife is the only child of her parents.. so they do not have anobodyelse than us and they are as good as my parents.. but that's not the criteria.. i am good to them because they are good.. jar maze sasu sasare ase asate tar mi hi tasach vagalo asato..
aani vichara kara... jar swati che sasu / sasare.. ase tras denaryatale asatil.. aani jar tila aadhi pasun mahit aahe ki te aalyane problemach honar aahet mag kashala? better avoid it.. aani mi baghitale aahe hya gosti kuthalya tharala jatat.. ek manaleli bahin aahe tichya sasubai tichya baLantapanasathi aalya hotya US madhe pan tila madat karaychi sodun hindat basalya.. mhanaje hi kovali baLantin anna panyavachun aksharsha nastya vachun jagate aahe aani hi bai maja marate aahe.. LA la mag kay upayog ashya lokanni bhet devun..
nasata manastap???
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hehe...
ya BB cha rang ani rokh pahun mi bhaltaach khush zalo ahe...:):)
band karne best ahe...
ase sasu sasre kahich kamache nahit. tyanna ikade yeu naka he thospane sangaave. tyanchyamule kasle tras hotat tehi spashta sangave. alech tar hikmati karun athavdyabharaat palvun lavave. ani te nahich jamla tar navra/baayko yacha pan kandaat kadhun tya vyaktishi kadimod ghyava. karan aplyala honara tras jo janun gheu shakat nahi ani tyavar upay karu shakat nahi/karayla dhajavat nahi, asla jodidar kaay kamacha.
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Aro sagaLo dÜYa saasaU saasaáyaaMnaa kaÆ jyaalaa tumhI saaqaIdar mhNaUna inavaDlaa / inavaDlaI Aaho %yaacao kahI kt-vya naahI ka Aaplyaa saaqaIdaralaa full support VayacaoÆ baayakÜlaa baÜlalaolao taunts navaáyaanao sahna krNao (at %yaacaI caUk Aaho. %yaanao nakÜ ka AavaiDlaaMnaa saaMgaayalaaÆ kamaacaa taNa svat : cyaa maulaa maulaI kDUna AavaiDlaaMnaa samajalaa ³mhNajao samajat nasalaa tr.´ AapÜAapca discuss k$na ]paya zrvata naahI ka yaoNaarÆ
savyaaÊ tuJyaa ]gaacaca AtorokI baÜlaNyaacaa kahI Ôayada Aaho kaÆ besides being sarcastic?
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I don't mean to be rude, but I'm grateful that I'm neither Swati's parents-in-law nor her husband. Swatid kon mala mahit nahi, pun hya posts madhun tichya gharchyanchi ji 'washing dirty linen in public' hotye he vachun vait vatla. Ekhadya 'hypothetical' situation la discuss karna ek, ani nava gheun personalise karna vegla. Mitra-maitrineen madhe personal problems discuss karna ek, ani Maayboli chya 3150 odd users ni 'swatid' navachya hitgujkarin che sasu-sasre kase ahet? hyancha goshti aikna/vachna vegla.
Pratyekachya family madhe weird/odd/kujkat/mean etc natevaik astat, pun mhanun saglyanni tyanche natevaikanche svabhav/vagnuk ithe sangaychi ka?
Vait vatla vachun.
Aside from that, great posts!
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arch:- ashe sasu sasare.. mula samor kahi bolat nahit.. sagale maghari karatat.. aani mag .. sun kahi bolali tar tiche tond disate..
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arch,
mi atireki kuthe bolalo? sasu sasre aikat nahit mhanun jar tyanchya virudhdha band karnyacha 'atirekipana' karaycha asel, tar mag jo navra aapli vyatha samjun ghet nahi tyachya virudhdha pan band karaycha 'atirekipana' karayla kay harkat ahe?
tu je points mandle ahet tech mi lihile ahe na..?
"baykola dilele taunts...chuk ahe..upay tharavta.." he tuza vakya.
apan adhi navryala samjavle pahije ki tras kaay ahet, ani mag tyanech tyachya aai vadilanna samjaavle pahije. ki ikade yeu naka ani alat tar kase vaga te. ani asa jamat nasel, to maze aai baba barobarach ahet ani tula asach vagla pahije asa mhanat asel tar mag tyachya barobar tari kaa rahayche? evdhach mi mhanalo. mi tirkas bolalo, pan tyatun artha haach abhipret hota mala.
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| मायबोली |
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| चोखंदळ ग्राहक |
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| महाराष्ट्र धर्म वाढवावा |
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| व्यक्तिपासून वल्लीपर्यंत |
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| पांढर्यावरचे काळे |
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| गावातल्या गावात |
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| तंत्रलेल्या मंत्रबनात |
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| आरोह अवरोह |
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| शुभंकरोती कल्याणम् |
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| विखुरलेले मोती |
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